At the end of October last year, my brother and his wife found out that they were expecting baby number two. A very joyous event. Three weeks later, my brother found out that he had stage four pancreatic cancer. He was ready for battle. He was living a life with his true love, had a young son, and wanted to make the fight. It was a rollercoaster. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. Hopes and heartaches. In January, my mother sister, daughter, and niece made the visit. My mind knew, but my heart hoped. My daughter,at 20, was forever changed. A planned trip in April was changed by a phone call on Easter Sunday. For one week and one day, we cared for him. His wish was to go home and it was granted. 24/7 was the schedule. His pregnant wife was trying to care for him alone, work, and be a mother to a four-year old. A stong woman, who was losing the love of her life. It ended on March 31st. Four short months. Totally unfair. A celebration of life was held in May in the place that he was born. Elementary, middle, and high school friends along with college, fraternity, and work friends joined in the memorial. In June, a new son was born. In July, my mother, sister, and I went to meet him. Some days, I bask in my wonderful loving memories, but others are very gray. It is a life that should have been. A life that I will not know the answers for until my life ends.