I am a scientist. I admit it, since they say that is the first step in the healing process. I know that many of my loyal readers are probably wondering how a renowned vampire, werewolf, and monster-hunting expert can become a scientist. Well,  I am not one of  'those' kinds of scientists, not like the ones you see on the Sci-Fi channel, or hear on late night radio talk shows. I actually work in a lab and do real experiments, and study the biology of non-mythical creatures. Those monster hunting things are just my hobbies, done for my amusement (and hopefully yours). Science, on the other hand, is my life, and as such, I think I can speak about it with some degree of expertise. Here then, are my suggestions about how you too can become a scientist.

 

First and foremost, I blame my mom. Unfortunately, at an early age, my mom decided that I was kind of smart. So, she made me study and do my homework and taught me that reading and writing were fun things to do. This form of abuse often has drastic consequences in later life, and I frequently flash back to a scene, a tableau if you will, where I was sitting on her lap, reading a story. I believe I was 32 at the time, but without more hypnotherapy, who can really say for sure? Anyway, Mom’s are usually to blame for scientists.

 

Read a lot of science fiction. I haven’t found a study linking the reading of science fiction with becoming a scientist, but the anecdotal evidence is overwhelming. Science fiction is sort of like play science (sorry any SF writers out there, but that’s how I see it). Don’t get me wrong, the best science fiction writers can tell some amazing stories, and their degree of prescience can be startling sometimes. Sadly, this can often give the budding scientist the wrong impression, such as the idea that doing science is all fun and games. Well, okay, it is mostly fun and games, but don’t tell anyone. We have to look serious, and pretend that we are working hard, or otherwise, they won’t give us any money.

 

Get some education….lots and lots of education. In the old days, a scientist didn’t need to be too educated. There were so many things left to discover back then, unlike today, where we pretty much know all there is to know (that is a joke, by the way). The point is, everything is so specialized, and you will need a great deal of time and education to figure it all out. I calculate that with another 20-30 years of intense study, I will know everything that I will ever know, which is still not very much. 

 

Find your niche in life. If you are totally fascinated by the mating habits of the Nigerian Blue- Bellied Water Bug (I feel your pain), then that can be your life’s work. Just as it is for writers, so it is for scientists, you have to find your passion and make it your own. Of course, writers and scientists have another analogy; more than likely there is not be a lot of money to be made in studying a bug. But that is the price that we pay.

 

If after reading the above steps you still want to be a scientist, then I wish you luck. Believe me; you are going to need it. The hours are awful, the pay is bad and the frustrations are many. However, the satisfaction you get from discovering something that was never known before…..well, that is priceless.