Britain has such limited biodiversity remaining – except for spiders. So many kinds! Tiny little scuttling ones, big muscular ones, lacy little pale ones, lovely ones with long stripy legs as if they’re wearing funny socks, archetypal little medium black jobs. I haven’t seen any of the kind I need though – money spiders, which I think are not actually a species, just a generic term for the little ones that are in the bath when you want to run one or in the sink when you want to brush your teeth.

I love them one and all. They are almost pets. How can anyone hunt them down and squash them? Or hoover up their homes? Cobwebs are design wonders and there’s nothing like one covered in dew or raindrops with the sun behind it. Being scared of them is no excuse for wanton extermination. They eat less appealing little crawly things, especially the ones gunning for my plants and every house should have them and worship them.

Britain also has the most remarkable number of flies. It’s not just my house and I can’t figure out what attracts them. They are the buzziest and most annoying flies I’ve ever met anywhere in the world. I maybe should splat them, ‘cos they’re supposed to be germ carriers, but on the live-and-let-live principle I open the window and try to usher them out. They’re thick too and tend to resist. Give me a spider anytime. I reckon they have a high IQ.