When my son was 19 he felt despair. He attempted suicide previously and we sought getting him a form of medical attention with a psychiatrist, therapy and medication. He showed such good signs of improvement (on the outside). I find myself thinking; maybe I should have taken him by the hand to be sure he was helping himself as he promised us.  He was such a happy-go-lucky kid, had many friends, and loved his sisters and his brother who was not around much. I do admit I was quite the nagging single mom because, though he did work part time, he was home a lot and I had to beg him to get things done for me at home, mostly his living area which he kept a mess. Not caring about themselves and other things is usually a good sign something is not quite right. But I loved him so much and had such high hopes for his future. I wish he did.  I encouraged him into driving lessons and art school . . . which unfortunately never came to pass. He already planned his destiny which caught us all as a traumatic surprise. For so long, even now in my weakest moments, I still tend to feel some of the blame. I keep asking myself, did I nag him too much, did I push him over the edge, and did I not help him where he needed it the most? It could go on and on but I loved him so much. He was a momma’s boy growing up. There is so much help and support, plus support groups out there, so don’t feel or be alone . . . and do not blame you. 

The dreadful night when my son had his whole fate planned, he was with all his friends in such a good happy mood, being his normal happy self. No one could have known what was to happen. In the morning when I found him, a friend he was with that night before came to visit him and was hysterical to find out he was gone. My neighbor who was in the psychology field spoke with him to help him. I was numb at the time, my daughters were so distraught, and we all were feeling a deep sense of despair. I could write so much more about what he did, how I found him and so much more, which I may do at a later time, but I want you to know, there will never be reasoning as to why it happened and what to do to help yourself. 

I called my local St. Joseph Hospital for support groups in my area and found a “Surviving Suicide” Group. It helped so much to know I was not alone and even met someone I actually worked with who lost her husband to suicide. I also joined the online “Survivors of Suicide” Group. It is so reassuring to know there are others out there feeling your pain and wanting to help you to move forward. Don’t forget the closeness and support of the most important people in your life, your family and friends. There is so much out there. 

www.survivingsuicide.com/

Suicide is usually an awful “end” to unresolved, ignored despair and depression. I am including a few helpful resources for depression:

The Root Cause,  E-book To Help Overcome OCD, Phobia, Panic Attacks, Depression And Fear Of Rejection, From An Ex-sufferers Point Of View.  http://08125f7mc9ryhodcpk3akit599.hop.clickbank.net/

 

Heal Depression Naturally - No Therapy - No Drugs.   Discover The True Cause Of Depression And How To Heal It Naturally. Author Endured 30+ Years Of Depression Before Finding The Answer. http://33e98qylcirtbudcsc14taix70.hop.clickbank.net/