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How do I tell my parent that I am dating someone from another religion or race

posted July 18, 2008 - 10:15am
How do I tell my parent that I am dating someone from another religion or race

Wouldn’t that be really scary?

Imagine going home one day and telling your parents that you’ve fallen in love and are planning on getting married. Now that would be really great news for you and the family, only for one thing though…

The person you want to marry is from another religion, race or that they’re an atheist?!

What actually made me think of this question is that recently in the news, I have seen a lot of news about inter-racial and inter-religious marriage

Sometimes personal experiences or outright prejudice make parents refuse their children dating, not even marrying someone who’s not from their race or religion.

If you are in this situation, what do you do? Here’s a few suggestions:

1. Tell them on time

Your parents need to know on time that you dating someone from another religion or race so that before you actually get married, they’ll have gotten used to the fact. Simply arranging to get married and springing a surprise on your family will make them kick against your idea and spoil your plans.

2. Be ready to stick to your guns

Yes. This one is important.

Its your life and how you rum it is best known for you. If you love that someone and your family wont accept him/her, yet you want them anyway, be ready to insist. It helps if already in your home you are seen as hotheaded and insistent.

So you have to brave the consequences and follow your heart, not your head. It won’t be easy though.

Those people who are not like us are considered to be the dregs of humanity that are “unclean”. It is not rightly so. We are all one and anyone ought to date or marry anyone they see fit.

So go for love as long as it’s true. It always wins.

To those of you who are religious and racist, would the introduction of a future son or daughter in law who’s ‘not as they ought to be’ be worse than the worst that’s ever happened in your life already? It cant possibly be.

So chill and give these two young people a chance at making good with love.

Author: omooye89
-A +A


Comments

Different Religion

L Wagen - Wed, 2008-23-7 10:46 pm
My parents were not of the same religion, but they made it work. However, by brother and his wife are different religions and it is not running as smoothly. My parents made it look effortless which was the problem, when my brother decided to do it. My parents followed certain guidelines to make it work. For example...Step one is to decide which religious marriage service to use or decide to have 2 ceremonies one in each church, and decide which religion to raise the children in, and then stick with it. Don't complain or change your mind when the child turns 7. Step two is to take classes given by each other's church to find out more about each other's religion. Step three is to try to get both families on board. Step four it's easier if both institutionalized religions get along, i.e, both are Christian religions, not Christian or Mormon, or Christian, and Muslim, etc. A Muslim and a Jew may get married, but I don't think their families will ever see eye to eye. Step five is even if the religions differ make sure both parties have the same worldview, and family values. For example, one partner believes in fidelity, one doesn't etc. One spends money foolishly, one doesn't etc. This causes additional stress on the marriage. Step six is don't borrow money from the in-laws. Step seven is discuss beforehand what to do if one party's family won't come around. Step eight involves the decision where to spend religious and national holidays, with which family? All the above should be worked out before saying the I do's, or you don't. You intereligious marriages that are working don't you agree with the above steps? I have no personal experience with interracial marriages. Personally, I'm glad they married! I wouldn't be here, and I had a happy home. But I know just because someone makes it look easy, it's not!

That's a good way to do it, lisadee

jdubhub - Wed, 2008-23-7 12:14 pm
There are worse things that a person could be doing that dating/marrying somebody of whom the parents might not approve. DO YOU HAVE THE WRITE STUFF?

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i would do it this way

lisadee - Wed, 2008-23-7 12:07 pm
hi mom and dad. let me tell you about my day. well, first i was expelled (or fired depending on age), then i broke into a bank and took $10,000. after that i stole a car. i accidentally burned down a restaurant when i drop the match i was using to light my joint at mcdonalds. then i registered to run for congress and i'm going to lie to everyone and do whatever it takes to be elected. and i'm pregnant but i'm not sure who the father is because i've been prostituting myself out for the last six months in order to finance my campaign. *pregnant pause* ok, not really. but i am dating someone that might surprise you and i just wanted to put things in perspective. he/she is a great person, treats me like a queen/king. i love him and i hope you will too.

fait accompli

mamamia07 - Fri, 2008-18-7 12:19 pm
they had best be informed just before you approach the altar (not literally) an that too long distance. giving them too much time and space to think just accentuates their grief. parents never believe their child has grown enuf to take a mature decision, anyways. anyways, nice approach to a problem that will remain till eternity!...+1 Read How I Have Made $2000 from Xomba http://www.xomba.com/thumbs_up_to_xomba_2_k_story Check Out My Profile Here Click here to read my articles

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Good advice!

jdubhub - Fri, 2008-18-7 11:35 am
One of the jobs of the parent is to make sure that his or her relationship with the child remains solid throughout childhood and into the teen years. Nothing should interfere with that relationship. If this job was addressed, then the child should have no problem coming to his or her parents with anything. Plus, the fact of the matter is a parent can't "make" a child do anything, so it is better to give the child the tools in life needed to make good decisions and love the child unconditionally. If my child came to me in a few years and said that he was dating and/or going to marry someone of a different religion or ethnicity, I would understand that my son was making a good decision. The reason I say that is not for my benefit but because society is still bass ackwards when it comes to these types of relationships, so he will have come to realize that he and his significant other must be stronger in it. My love for my child is unconditional, so I won't "disown" him or make threats against him because actions didn't "please" me. In my wife's and my belief system, we have 18 years to raise our son and after that anything else we get is a gift. In other words, we don't believe the parent "owns" the child. (Big difference from how I was raised, but I was also raised in an alcoholic home and I'm doing things differently in my marriage and as a father.) DO YOU HAVE THE WRITE STUFF?

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