While I am on my personal psoriasis-free challenge, I have also been reflecting on how psoriasis affects my life over the years – consciously or subconsciously.
I have not given this much thought because I often feel that I should be grateful for being diagnosed with scalp psoriasis and not other chronic types of psoriasis.
However, as I begin to seriously reflect on my life since psoriasis, I have come to realise that psoriasis has indeed affected me in more ways than I imagined.

Paranoia
There were times when the flare-ups of my psoriasis became so bad that I tried my very best to comb and tie up my hair in ways that only my ‘healthy-looking’ scalp would be exposed and seen. I did that to deceive others so that no one would notice my psoriasis-infested scalp underneath my seemingly healthy thick black hair. I would not be certain if it worked but for sure, no one had asked me outright if there were any thick scaly ‘thing’ on my scalp. However, as I, myself was aware of my own scalp condition, I would automatically become extremely paranoid when I sensed the person with whom I had conversation suddenly had his/her eyeballs darted towards the top of my head. I would become uncomfortable and tried to end any conversations I had as soon as possible in order to break free from being studied on for too long. Or when my colleagues suddenly came approaching me at my desk to speak with me (them standing over me while I was seated), I would also worry about them seeing the flaky bits on the top of my head. Or I would also be very uncomfortable sitting in a crowded room with people sitting behind me, as again, the risk of being ‘exposed’ was very high.
This paranoia became a natural instinct for me to become alert and ‘break free’ from people since my psoriasis.

Self-Esteem
With my paranoia, it naturally affected my self-esteem as a result.
Not only was I worried of being seen, I became less confident in a social environment. I was too pre-occupied with being seen or ‘exposed’ with psoriasis that I found it hard to fully focus on things I were supposed to focus on. My attention would be divided. I was most of the time concerned about the impression I left on people, as I did not want to be remembered as the one with snowflakes on her shoulders or one with ‘funny-looking stuff’ in her hair. It was really hard for me most of the time to try hiding from people of the fact. I should of course accept and understand that it was nothing to be shy about as it was a disease. Unfortunately the truth is, no one really understands psoriasis except for the sufferers themselves.
Thus, not many people would understand or appreciate being around someone who did not seem to take care of her personal hygiene, so much so that it left her with all these ‘dandruff’ sticking in her hair.

Time
Of the 24 hours, I personally dedicated 2-3 hours each day to the treatment of my psoriasis. I had to part my hair bit by bit to apply my cream or ointment or oil or any other application onto my scalp. It was a very time-consuming activity but it had to be done. I worked but it was really hard when any free time I had in the evening was spent on my psoriasis treatment. 

Lifestyle change 
This is closely linked with my paranoia and self-esteem. What have I stopped doing as frequently as I would have liked?
The obvious activity in my case, which had to be limited was my visits to the hair salons. I would have loved being pampered by a hairdresser – it would be such a luxury having someone to wash your hair and massage your head. It would be so nice to have frequent hair trims. Unfortunately, due to my psoriasis, all these were not to be. I could not remember the last time I visited a hair salon without being asked what was wrong with my scalp and being hustled with hair-care products. It was difficult going to the hair salons. Now I would only visit the hair salon once a year!

Besides vanity, of course, I have to watch what I eat. I try to minimise my red meat intake. That means I must think before I buy a Big Mac or order a really delicious lasagne meal, as high frequency of red meat intake tends to cause flare-ups pretty quickly. Besides red meat, I also seldom drink wine or any drinks with alcohol content. Basically, there is a whole list of food and drinks that I need to 'consume with care'. So I do not really have the luxury of eating like people without psoriasis.

Financial investment
A lot money had gone into products after products, consultations after consultations, all in the hope treating this disease. Specialised shampoos, cream, ointment, oils, diet food, supplements, soaps, salt – they did not come cheap. Everything had to be tried. Everything had to be tested. When one thing did not work after a month, there was always another hope. Each ‘hope’ meant more money investment. The investments started from day one of my psoriasis till now.
My new hope? The psoriasis-free challenge will eventually end all these.