As the Exhausted Priestess of the Higher Order of the Sisterhood many of you have asked, “Auntie Lindy, how will I know if I’m pursuing a frisky fox or a dead carp?” Too often we see some guy and our little hearts are going pitter-patter so loudly we don� t hear what he’s really saying. We hear love songs while he’s filing restraining orders. So before we get the courts involved, I have a list of things you should keep an eye out for.

If you seem to be doing all of the calling, that’s not a good sign, Cookie Nose. When you have a man’s nose open so wide that you could drive a Mac truck up in there, he’ll find a way get to you. If he’s into you, you’ll know it. He’ll call you at least once a day. If you play your cards right, he’ll call twice a day. Then you know you’ve got ‘em, Sugar.

If he only shows up when he needs something – money, sex or fresh laundry, you’re wasting your time answering the door. That carp is DOA. He doesn’t want you. He wants one stop shopping. Look in the mirror, Baby, and say, “I am not an ATM, a hoochie nor his mama.” Put his butt on the curb with the rest of the garbage. If he’s into you he shows up without a reason – or makes up some sweet, lame excuse to be there. That fox is as frisky as springtime.

If you ask him what he’s doing this weekend and he say something like he’s helping his mom move. This may be true – but every weekend? Can you spell the fish? Love Bug, it’s time to cut bait and go home.

Mr. Wonderful will always be in the chase. Men like to think they’re in control. There’s nothing wrong with letting him feel like a woman. Let him chase you. Then, you run. Just remember to run very, very slowly. I wouldn’t steer up wrong.

Hang in there, Chickens!

Love,
Auntie Lindy