I Am Nothing in Your Vastness

Rugged vast and daunting
You stand before me silent awe-inspiring
Forever challenging me to climb upon
And struggle up your razor edge
To peaks so free the wind is bound
Ten thousand rows of trees on rugged ground.
Herds of hardy beasts roam
To the mercy of the lakeland fell,
Cascading contradictions drawn
From architecture bare and grand
You are my master
You have defeated me.
Emotionally drained I weep
With head in hands, sinking deeper, falling
Senses heightened I can hear you
Calling out my name.
Clouds falling fiercely around my head
I am breathing you now, living you, feeling you
You have me in your grasp
My neck tightens as the knuckles on my fists whiten
I want to scream and yell and wail
Madly uncontrolled as I see you.
You have done this to me
I blame you I thank you
Forever am I indebted to you
Yes, you are at your best and still
A mess I am left wet and windy head
Nurse my broken ego, nothing am I
Do not even exist before you
Standing here a pinprick in your vastness
Elegant untamed you maimed me mute and motionless,
In fear surrounded every angle.
Covered by your earthy skin
Covering my all my everything.
In need of nothing, you stand defiantly above me like a bully
Nothing I can do to make you stop
This overpowering sense of the strength you hold.
I am weak and meek,
You are bold and beautiful
I want to close my eyes
And turn my head away to stop your stare
But you are in control of me now
Like a zombie still unable to look away from you
I need to break the hold
To take a pause and catch my breath
You have overwhelmed me
Leaving me a broken man
A better man because of it.
But hear this
I will return with greater strength than this
Next time I will be more prepared
But alas, you will not be as I remembered,
You too will be bigger and vaster than now
And how I will fall at your feet once more.

Copyright © Matthew P. Nicholson 2004

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