I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years. We didn't have much in common anymore. Strange that we would find ourselves locked in such an absurd arguement.

His daughter was getting remarried. Finally. I was glad that she had found someone, anyone, to take her on. She wasn't all that bad really, but as the mother of my children I knew being with her was no easy task. This guy was either a saint, or insane. Either way, she was his now.

For reasons we still don't fathom, she wanted both of us to give her away. Yes, both her FATHER and EX-HUSBAND. At the same time, or with some sort of track and field baton handoff where he gives her to me, again, and then I pass her off to the new guy. We killed that idea quickly. So now it was left to us to decide who would walk her. In one of those rare moments, we both said at the same time.

You give her away.

"I already did that once. I gave her to you. She's yours to give away now."
"All true, but I gave her back. She's your daughter. You do it."

Back and forth we went on for a bit. From a distance she thought we were both fighting for the right to walk her. She would think that of course. And to a certain extent she was right, just not in the way she thought.

I'll admit I did consider it for a moment. But I assumed that the image of me, smiling, giving her to her new husband and then skipping back down the isle full of joy would be rather inappropriate. They agreeed so I was taken out of the option pool.

He didn't want to do it either but she managed to convince him. Once again, her wedding went off without a hitch.

Maybe the new guy will have better luck with her than I.