This is a story about my friend "Cigarette." We've been best friends for about 34 years. We always started our day together. We had our morning coffee together. We got ready for work together. We drove the car together. We had our coffee breaks together. We had lunch together. So often, we were alone together. We laughed and cried together. We partied together. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do without my friend. Closing my eyes before going to sleep, I always said "Good Night" to my friend. It was always good to know she'd be there in the morning waiting for me. I couldn't imagine my life without my friend, my very best friend. She was the only one there for me during my darkest moments, or so I thought.

I remember a few years ago I had gotten ready for bed. I was extremely tired. I wanted to spend a few minutes with my friend before going to bed. I was sitting on the couch while holding her and I drifted off to sleep. My husband woke up, came out of our bedroom wondering where I was. He saw me on the couch with my friend burning a hole in my bathrobe. She nearly burned my skin. It was the first time I felt afraid of her. I was grateful to my husband for not letting my friend burn me. Pun intended.

As we grew older together, I was beginning to see the physical damage my friend was doing to me. I confronted her, asking her why? She told me not to believe everything I saw when I looked in the mirror. She told me that new and better make-up was the answer and not to worry that I'd still be beautiful, no matter what. I continued to listen to her. We'd always be together forever. I loved her and she loved me.

As we continued our relationship, I started to question my friend. How come when I start to laugh, I end up coughing? Why was I having a hard time catching my breath? Why was I tired all the time? How come she was making me smell bad? Why couldn't I smell things that other people could? She was upset with all my questions. She told me I'd get fat if I ditched her. Again I listened to her. I hated the thought of getting fat! That alone made me realize she was still my best friend.

A few months ago, I got what I thought was a chest cold. After more than a month, I just couldn't seem to shake it. I continued to work while sick. I also continued my relationship with my friend. I finally went to the doctor for help. One of the first questions the doctor asked was "Do you smoke and how much do you smoke?" I rolled my eyes as I answered, "Yes, and a pack a day."How long have you been smoking?" "About 34 years." The doctor advised me to quit smoking. She also prescribed some antibiotics. I told my friend what the doctor said. She told me the doctor was wrong, that she would never hurt me.

After 2 weeks, I was getting worse. I was missing work. My friend told me not to worry, I'd be okay. Just wait a little longer. I couldn't wait. I was having difficulty breathing. I had to go back to the doctor. She prescribed a different antibiotic and an inhaler. She also insisted I quit smoking. Again I told my friend what the doctor said. She begged me not to end our relationship and I still listened to her.

Another week went by. I was having severe chest pains and couldn't breathe. My husband took me to the ER at our local hospital. I was immediately put on oxygen, given 2 steroid pills and medication for the pain. After about an hour, I was taken for chest x-rays. I was starting to feel better. The doctor asked me if I smoked, and how much. I gave him my answer. He told me that the x-rays said I had pleurisy and signs of emphysema. In other words, I have COPD. He insisted if I didn't quit smoking, I'd never get better and die. This time I didn't confide in my best friend. I made an appointment with my primary doctor. I told her I was ready to quit smoking and needed help. She prescribed a medication to ease the discomfort of quitting smoking. I took the medicine as prescribed for the first 3 days. I still smoked, but not as much. By the 4th day, I ended my relationship with my best friend. She never saw it coming.

Every day I continue to get better and better. I miss my friend at certain times. After all we were best friends for 34 years. I lived my entire life around her. I know now she was deceiving me. She was slowly killing me with a sparkle in her eye and a grin on her face. Now I'm the one who has a sparkle in her eye and a grin on her face. It wasn't easy, but I snuffed out her life before she snuffed out mine.