I Was Army Officer's Wife and I Publicly Opposed the War In Iraq.

I never intended to become a public figure in the early days of the war in Iraq, or Operation Iraqi Freedom or whatever we're calling it these days. I just knew the man I loved, the father of my child, was going to fight in a war that was unjustified and no one seemed to care. Everyone seemed satisfied with George Jr. "thinking" there were weapons of mass destruction, and "suspecting" Saddam Hussein was linked to Al Qaeda and were ready to send the troops in. When I was around the other families from my husbands unit, they, even more so than the rest of the country, were gung-ho Bush and gung-ho war. My parents shared my views but they had no idea what I was going through. I was freaking out and I felt totally alone.

On March 18th, 2003, my husband's 39th birthday and the night before Bush declared war, I found myself sitting at home in a panic. My husband was going to war and no one was trying to stop it from happening. I felt like I was the only military family member in the world not anxiously anticipating the declaration the next night. I don't know why I did it or what possessed me, but I sat down and e-mailed the president a letter with a picture of my then five month old son on it pleading with him to give the UN weapons inspectors more time. I knew it was a waste of time, but I wanted him to hear the pleas of a military wife. I wondered if any other military families were writing letters like mine or if there was something fundamentally wrong with me because I thought this war was wrong. Sitting there, stressed and panicked, I did an internet search for military families opposing the war in Iraq and I found an organization called Military Families Speak Out (www.mfso.org). There were letters on their site, not many, but a few expressing the same concerns I had. Thank God, I really wasn't alone. I sent them my letter.

Within a day or so, two of the founders of the group, Charlie Richardson and Nancy Lessin contacted me and asked to post my letter on their website. I also joined their organization so I could interact with other people who felt the same way I did. I have to say, in those early days, Nancy and Charlie were my life line. I wouldn't have had the courage or opportunities to do the things I did without their support.

My husband deployed to Iraq on Easter Sunday 2003. Soon after his arrival, he started noticing things that were very wrong. The service members were finding maggots in their food, their equipment was either getting lost or stolen daily, and they sat in the desert for weeks without a mission. To make matters worse, the guys kept coming down with this "stomach virus" that landed them in the hospital dehydrated for days at a time. He asked me to please contact our representatives in Washington and let them know. I contacted both Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn. I can describe them both in one word: Useless. I kept writing, and they kept either ignoring me, sending the same form letter over and over again, or, in the case of Kay Bailey Hutchison's office, sending me the wrong form letter. Our congressional representative, Michael Burgess conducted a town hall meeting in the small town we were living in at the time. He was so proud of himself because he was going to Iraq to see the troops. I told him he had two constituents stationed in Fallujah who would really appreciate a visit from him. He actually said the words, "Oh no, I won't go there. It's too dangerous". I wanted to ring his elitist neck and after the meeting, I sought him out. I smiled just as sweet as I could, and then proceeded to poke him in the chest and ask him why it was too dangerous for him to go to Fallujah but it wasn't too dangerous for him to send my husband there. He didn't know how to react and no one was running to his aid.

My frustration with Washington and the situation in Iraq was increasing. Dubya had announced the war was over, but more people were dying. Those pesky weapons of mass destruction hadn't surfaced and my husband was sitting in Iraq asking me to send him a fishing pole because he didn't have a mission yet. Then, I got the call I'd been dreading-he had been ambushed on his way to Baghdad to get personal supplies and the youngest boy in his unit had been killed. I had to fly to Arkansas for the funeral because he was the Officer in Charge the day it happened. I wanted to vomit. I had to watch this woman, who is now also a member of MFSO, bury her 19 year old son for no reason, then listen to some backwoods, ignorant hillbilly (I'm from Arkansas so I can say that) who hadn't even deployed with their unit flap his gums about the great mission the guys were doing in Iraq. Something in me snapped. When I got home, I told Nancy and Charlie I wanted to hold a peace rally in Crawford while Bush was there on vacation in August, less than one month away. They started getting the word out.

The next thing I knew, we'd organized this peace rally that was getting attention from media outlets all over the world and I was being billed as the organizer. Some people loved me and told me I was brave, a lot of other people called me a traitor and said I should be killed for aiding terrorists. It seemed like for the next few months, I was constantly giving interviews, going to speaking engagements, including before the US Congress where I got involved with Michael Moore's film crew when they were working on "Fahrenheit 911", and getting trashed on the internet by conservative groups, veterans and other military families. The leader of the Family Readiness Group, who had never contacted me once during my husband's deployment, called to tell me some high ranking dude had issued a letter saying I was not to speak publicly against the war anymore. People either loved me or hated me, but there was no middle ground. So, in addition to having a husband in a war zone, and trying to raise two kids on my own, I also had the added stress of being pretty much ostracized in my community because of my anti-war stance, people sending me death threats pretty much daily, and all my efforts seemingly having no impact. It was scary, and frustrating, but our group was growing daily and I wanted other military family members who might share the same feelings I did to know they weren't alone. Most of all, I wanted our men and women out of Iraq. They weren't there fighting for my freedom, they were fighting for Dubya and Cheney's corporate greed and it was wrong.

Finally, in March 2004 my husband returned home safely. I was still interviewed on occasion, and still helped with press releases and press conferences behind the scenes, but I stayed out of the spotlight to focus on my family. There were big problems that were very evident almost immediately upon his return that I felt deserved my undivided attention.

A lot has changed since then. We're divorced now due to the PTSD my husband refused to acknowledge or treat and the "independence" I gained while he was gone. Over 60 percent of Americans don't believe the war was worth fighting and we now know for sure there were no WMD's and no link to Al Qaeda, all things I was receiving death threats and being ostracized for saying four years ago. MFSO now has over 3400 members, with new members joining everyday and speaking out against the war and the administration isn't the horrible, traitorous thing it once was. Unfortunately, as of July 3rd 3,570 service members have been killed in Iraq with no end in sight. One thing, though, has remained the same-the current administration still won't listen and still won't admit the war in Iraq was a mistake. Makes me want to dust of my protest signs and get back out there...