0
votes

I'm a Real Man Again!

posted November 4, 2006 - 8:00am
I'm a Real Man Again!

The other day, I was watching a Green Acres rerun with my kids. In one of the ads, a smiling doctor told me how I can deal with the devastating effects of erectile dysfunction (ED). He reminded me how that little pill changed my life. Until Viagra, I never heard of erectile dysfunction (ED), much less realize how devastating it can be. It's now in the top ten, along with cancer, plague, bird flu and smallpox.

Before Viagra, I started wondering why when I met new people, I just didn't have the overwhelming urge to hump their legs anymore. Instead, I kept thinking about distractions, like buying food and paying the mortgage. When I was on the train and saw an attractive woman, I couldn't begin to guess what was wrong. Instead of pulling her down and going at it in the aisle,I did the crossword. Other guys did the same thing. I'd think, come on guys, they want to undress and throw themselves at you. Wake up!

Now I know, I'm a victim of ED. Stop thinking about yourself for a change and listen to me. I'm sick of hearing about everybody's problems! If I hear one more person whine about lung cancer or heart attacks, I'll scream. I couldn't get it up on command! I've got ED!

Thank God Viagra had the decency to tell me. I no longer have to be disabled - no more hiding from reality by eating, sleeping, showering. Now, I do what a man's supposed to do. And again. And again. And no, I'm still a family man. I play more stickball with my son then I ever did. Those four hour games make me lightheaded, but no big deal.

By the way, is your leg busy?

www.xomba.com/xombyte/thewonderer

Author: TheWonderer
-A +A


Comments

That's something I don't

flyswatter - Fri, 2007-12-1 6:42 am
That's something I don't want to hear, see or think about. Flyswatter Xomba Moderator

Flyswatter

Xomba Moderator

Better than him talking about his eLection problems.

Antonia Dwells - Sat, 2006-11-11 4:57 pm
"do we need to hear bob dole talking about his erection problems?"

Antonia Dwells

i hate the ads for "male

mobiusclimber - Sat, 2006-11-11 1:32 pm
i hate the ads for "male enhancement" pills on tv. what bothers me is the implication that if you have a normal sized (or even smaller than normal sized) penis, then a) everyone in the neighborhood immediately knows this and is busy snickering behind their hands at you, b) people will suddenly respect you if you "accidently" flash your enormous wang at them, c) your wife is going to be bored w/ you if you don't have an enormous wang... etc etc etc. and the viagra commercials. oh lord. do we need to hear bob dole talking about his erection problems? *shudders*

This post has been deflagged

PoisedGuru - Mon, 2006-6-11 8:52 am
I removed the offensive flag, which I forgot to remove the other day. I agree that this is material that can be seen in prime-time television, magazine ads and probably even Google AdSense ads so I see nothing wrong with it. Carry on my wayward sons and daughters heehee Poised Guru Xomba Moderator

Poised Guru
Xomba Moderator

ps - I'll keep the limits in

TheWonderer - Mon, 2006-6-11 8:47 am
ps - I'll keep the limits in mind. I don't want anybody losing more hair.

http://www.xomba.com/user/thewonderer

Offensive?

TheWonderer - Mon, 2006-6-11 8:31 am
I can understand why some might find this offensive, but that's the point. I can be watching "family" shows with my kids on any of the basic cable channels and out of the blue, they'll show ads for ED treatments and pretty much anything else you can imagine. The idea of cable is to provide choice. Is it really a choice if I sit down to watch a history or nature documentary with my preteen kids, only to have them asking what ED is and trying to get past the fake doctor's warning about getting medical help if you "have an erection lasting four hours"? I'm trying to show in a satirical way how we're passively allowing a presumptuous media lead us where it sees fit. Consider that not all that long ago, saying somebody "sucks" was considered an obscenity. Now you hear it on prime time every day. It's considered a mild oath, but what do people really think it means?

http://www.xomba.com/user/thewonderer

KY, Astroglide, EZ-In...

Antonia Dwells - Sun, 2006-5-11 3:00 pm
...and Benetton condoms, all the colors of the rainbow.

Antonia Dwells

"Trojan Maaaaan!"

Antonia Dwells - Sun, 2006-5-11 12:26 pm
Antonia Dwells

Antonia Dwells

Why KY!!??

LadyPeninhand - Sun, 2006-5-11 9:24 am
This is what gets me too!! Eespecially during times that your children might see them!! I don't know what the world is coming to!! There are just some things that should be left unsaid, or not discussed in public. Nothing is private anymore..nothing is discreet!! There is absolutely no NEED to advertise this stuff. Another of my pet-peeves is 'info-mercials'!! Good-Feet will solve all of your problems...Buy real estate with no money...play the stock market better than a professional trader...cleanse your colon of worms and snakes and all manner of things...total body gym...pilates...lose weight...increase your brain power...two for one if you call in the next 15 minutes... Yeah...it makes you want to throw your TV in the garbage can!! I rarely have my TV on!! The Today show used to be a must for me, for my morning dose of News..but not anymore! They are even getting trashy (bra lessons?) And Oh My God, if I hear Anna Nicole blubbering one more time, I WILL throw it in the garbage can!! I feel bad for her losing her son...but that's what happens!! You know? She's got a brand new baby, with 3 or 4 guys fighting over who's her daddy!! Notice Momma isn't saying? And it wouldn't suprise me a bit if they found out it was NONE of them!! But oh, "Anna Nicole..a mother's heartbreak"!! Yeah, anyway...I honestly think that if I had children these days, I wouldn't have a TV in the house. Or it would only be used for educational type things...One show a day or something. Or the occasional rented DVD...But that's me. You aren't allowed anymore to shelter your kids, apparently. So Good Luck to You...

Lady:P

'I sleep naked.'

Thanks LadyPeninhand, it's

TheWonderer - Sun, 2006-5-11 7:17 am
Thanks LadyPeninhand, it's only a matter of time. Not so long ago, KY Jelly was a well-known secret that didn't need advertising to sell well. Now, all bets are off and KY advertises its self-heating massage oil on TV Land while we're watching it with our kids. We could tell them it's for therapeutic purposes, except that as the woman's talking to the camera, a guy in the background has his tongue hanging out drooling in anticipation. Maybe this is all a way of avoiding what we need to talk about.

http://www.xomba.com/user/thewonderer

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