Instant Ants and the Garden Nuke

posted April 28, 2009 - 6:25pm

Instant Ants and the Garden Nuke

During the time my friend Thomas was dying from Cancer, he and I would make up stuff to laugh about. In America we have this thing about instant gratification in the form of wanting things instantly.

We came up with a new company, the Instant Company. The best thing about the Instant Company was all of their products come in cans. Our first product created was Instant Ants. Instant Ants came in four quantity sizes. No, they were not real ants, they were virtual ants. Virtual ants were better than real ants. Why? Because they would look like real ants but would disappear in three hours.

Instant Ants were great for getting even with the neighbor who kicked your dog, or getting rid of the boyfriend your daughter is seeing and you don't like, or just a party gag. You get the idea? Instant Ants came in can sizes ranging from 50,000 ants to enough ants to cover the entire state of Rhode Island. The Rhode Island size was pretty impressive.

And, being instant in its delivery of the product, our Pop & Throw method worked like no other.. It was actually, “pop, throw, and run." Each can had a compass on it. You could set the direction you wanted the arts to go. And the can did the rest.

After laughing about Instant Ants for a few weeks and thinking about all the things we could do with them, we created the Garden Nuke. The Garden Nuke was every gardener's dream. How to rid your garden of all those pests, and sterilized the ground before planting. The Answer was the Garden Nuke, by the Instant Company.

The Garden Nuke came in four sizes too, with coverage ranging from small to National Forest. Inside the can was a miniature nuclear bomb, but formulated for garden use. The Garden Nuke can had our patented Compass Direction Setter, as used on the Instant Ants' can, and three buttons, Ready, Set, Run.
The can also was clearly labeled with our toll-free-number for Instant-help, and instructions for the perfect deployment so you could begin gardening within three hours.

Our last product was still being developed when Thomas passed away. It was the Body Nuke and was going to be our first product in micro-can form. A nano-can, activated via computer, then swallowed, and its mini explosion would rid the body of all deadly diseases.

Too bad it was just our fantasy, but, someday the reality of ridding diseases instantly will come to be...

For more adventures with Thomas visit these links:

Associate Links to this story (non-fiction) :
Good Karma Comes Back In Odd Ways -- the Lottery Ticket Hanging On A Bush
http://xomba.com/good_karma_comes_back_in_odd_ways_a_true_story_from_oregon

Oregon's Nazi Adminstration - the Department of Human Services
http://xomba.com/oregon_s_death_camp_adminstration_department_human_services

Television was invented by Utah boy, 14 (1921):
http://www.farnovision.com

Make Money Writing $$$:
http://www.xomba.com/referral/7777ea2e

Author: Joseph E Howard

Comments

Instant Ants Body Nuke ...

Joseph E Howard - Thu, 2009-7-5 7:18 am

I wish to say thank you, very much for your caring and personal comments, AAT2. I miss Thomas very much, but, laugh, we, did with Instant Ants!

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Instant Laughter and Instant Lump in the Throat

AndAnotherThing2 - Thu, 2009-7-5 6:59 am

wish you'd have left me with a laugh rather than the lump in my throat (as in a symptom of sadness) but that's just a personal preference. To juxtapose the two is - now don't go getting a big head (and what the fek to I know) - genius. Articles that have a roller coaster are better than them that adopt the same single - blah blah blah blah - tone - unless you like the same blah blah blah blah tone of course. All the best AndAnotherThing2

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

New Product: "Bitch-Be-Gone," the Instant Company interested

Joseph E Howard - Tue, 2009-5-5 12:01 pm

WOW! And just think about its companion product, Dude-Be-Gone? I'm sure the Instant Company will want to talk with your friend. Right, now, however, we are waiting for Thomas to return from his extended assignment, out, somewhere in the either. He's our Founding Father! Thanks for the comment, and, always remember; THE INSTANT COMPANY - "Everything you've ever wanted, and more in a can!"

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Instant ants

MJ Dakota - Tue, 2009-5-5 11:47 am

The creative mind is a very uplifting mind. Great article!! I have a friend who during the end stages of his marriage, created "Bitch be Gone". It was a refreshing air scent that when used he was able to eradicate the foul odor of anger and hate emitted from another. : ) MJ - Sending happy thoughts and Smiles! Avatar: Betrayal and Retribution http://www.valkyrieart.com/Poser1.html

MJ
Avatar: Belief

My journey for Balance

Nano-medicine

Joseph E Howard - Mon, 2009-4-5 1:50 pm

Thanks Prism, Thomas worked in creating the first silicon chips, and was well versed in Quantum Physics. His hobby was robotics, and he use to talk about developing a robot the size of a speck of dust, a nano-robot. His IQ was off the charts. Following a nervous breakdown in the late 1970s, Social Security deemed him 100% mentally disabled (that's another whole story about how are SS system lets us down). I met Thomas in 1998, while forcing a private eviction order on a Portland drug house. Thomas lived there, with some real rotten people. My friend, Louie owned the house. People made fun of Thomas because he hardly ever made any sense. But, looking back, he always made sense, just not in the terms most people could understand. When I entered that house to let the scum know they had 30 minutes to vacate, and if they were still there at 31 minutes, the next group to arrive would be the Portland Police. When I first entered the house there was a guy upstairs in a bedroom with a full operating methamphetamine cooking lab, in the living room were three men washing checks they had stolen in brake fluid (brake fluid removes ink from paper), and downstairs there was two men stripping bicycles they had acquired around the area. And, up in the smallest bedroom was Thomas, all, alone with a blanket. They were letting him stay there while they ripped him off for his Social Security every month. Thomas received the max SS. I felt so sorry for him. I told him to stay in the bedroom, and the rest I told them the clock is ticking and you have 23 minutes. So, Thomas, introduced me to the world of Nano, although in the beginning I thought he was nuts. Yes, I am taking some time to investigate the Nano World. Thanks, for the links... And, thanks to all for commenting and the votes. I always love to advance the story of the amazing Thomas Prints, America scientist.

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Nanomedicine and Nanotechnology

prism - Mon, 2009-4-5 4:08 am

I love the creativity! Like the picture too ;) As jdubhub mentioned there are many applications in development as we speak (write). There is an overwhelming amount of information on the net now about Nanomedicine and Nanotechnology. Yet, the average person rarely hears about it. I think Thomas planted the seed for you to learn more and lead other people to this option to consider as you said he was always trying to help others. Here's a couple links that are a good starting point in current nanomedicine (particularly for cancer)but like I said, there's a ton out there. Once you get started, you could be weeks or months reading up on the subject. http://www.understandingnano.com/medicine.html http://nano.cancer.gov/resource_center/nano_critical.asp ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Earn for Your Writing on Xomba Earn for Your Writing on Bukisa Check Out My Writing on Bukisa

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Prey, The Movie!

Joseph E Howard - Wed, 2009-29-4 12:35 am

Well, I was 1/2 right. 50%! In grades, it's an F! There is a movie called "PREY!" An American family on holiday in Africa becomes lost in a game reserve and stalked by lions. Released 2007

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Prey, the Movie? I'm not really sure......Instant Ants.....?

Joseph E Howard - Wed, 2009-29-4 12:25 am

Oh, a movie? Well, I'm not entirely sure......... Somewhere in my travels I somewhere remember hearing a part of a story, which was similar. But, it was only two or sentences, and, probably someone else's conversation. I then, somewhere,saw a movie poster or listing, but, I know it said PREY on it. Let me go look it up.

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There's a movie?

jdubhub - Tue, 2009-28-4 11:12 pm

That's a twist on the usual "There's a book?" for me. I don't know about the movie you're thinking about, but the book was about "nanotechnology gone wrong" as only Crichton could write it. After reading your article, I could tell that I would have liked Thomas. You both have the same sense of humor about life that I do. CLICK HERE TO JOIN XOMBA TODAY!

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