My, oh my! My review of THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON sure made me the most hated man on the Internet! Just by writing what I thought of that stupid wreck of a movie; crammed with stiff acting, lousy dialogue, uninspired direction, overall bad writing and a mess of a story that doesn't make sense, I managed to piss off every teenage girl in the world! Maybe I should print a T-shirt saying "DON'T FUCK WITH TWIHARDS!" - people, the TWILIGHT fans are like an army of very small Charles Bronsons.
    Now, all this fuss about NEW MOON and its teenage love story combined with vampires made me think of another vampire movie, one featuring a bizarre romance, and one of the best vampire flicks ever.
    Let's go back in time, back to 1987, when I was young; let's have a look in the rear mirror at the modern classic NEAR DARK.
    NEAR DARK was Kathryn Bigelow's breakthrough and is arguably her best movie, not having seen THE HURT LOCKER; her new one. Because it came out in 1987, NEAR DARK ended up in the shadow of the much weaker but bigger brat pack-flick THE LOST BOYS. However, the silly Joel Schumacher movie was a vampire movie aimed a teenage girls and people who don't like horror, while NEAR DARK was embraced by horror fans. And while THE LOST BOYS was more or less forgotten until it was revived by new fans in the late 90s, NEAR DARK has been written about and analyzed over and over again in books and articles since it climbed out of the coffin 22 years ago.
    Adrian Pasdar is young Caleb, who one night meets Mae (Jenny Wright), who needs a lift home. They make out in the car, when she suddenly bites him in his neck and runs off. Yes, Mae's a vampire.
    Caleb's car won't start, so he starts walking home to his family's farm (Tim Thomerson of TRANCERS plays Caleb's dad), but when the sun goes up, he's feeling sick. Suddenly, and RV shows up and Caleb is dragged inside it.
     It's time to meet Mae's family of nasty vampires: Lance Henriksen as Civil War veteran Jesse Hooker, Bill Paxton as the crazySeveren , and Jenette Goldstein as Diamondback. They sleep in the RV by day, and prey on humans by night, and besides Mae, they are as far from the wimpy, nice vampires in THE TWILIGHT SAGA as you can get: these guys need blood - human blood! They don't give a rat's ass about killing people.
    Caleb's dad thinks his son has been kidnapped, so the cops search for him and find the RV, that's been torched. But it's empty. The vampire clan has switched vehicle.
    Caleb develops a strange relationship with Mae. He's turned into a vampire, but refuses to kill - so Mae kills for him, and he feeds from her through a slit in her wrist. But Caleb can't go on like that, he has has to learn how to kill, so Jesse brings the gang to a shabby bar, where the plan is to slaughter the guests and drink their blood. Their visit to the bar ends with a blood-bath, during whichSeveren goes nuts and slices people's throats with his spurs.
    But no, Caleb still refuses to kill humans. The cops are catching in on the vampires, and soon a violent, gory shoot-out ensues, and...
    ...Well, if you haven't seen NEAR DARK, I won't spoil it by telling the rest of the story.

This new DVD of NEAR DARK makes it look like TWILIGHT!

    The only thing I don't like about this movie, is the happy ending, which feels too far-fetched and tacked on; I don't buy it. Otherwise, this vampire movie with a Western flavor is great; it's thrilling, it's cool, it's fun, it's violent and gory - and it benefits from great characters and good dialogue. Bill Paxton is everything the vampires in TWILIGHT aren't. So is Lance Henriksen. NEAR DARK also has a love story I can accept. Caleb and Mae are confused. This isn't and can never be an ordinary relationship. They know they have to kill, to take the evil route.
    NEAR DARK was written by Eric Red, who was the brain behind behind the previous year's success THE HITCHER. He continued writing and directing a string of minor thrillers, but he's said to be a strange guy, and the other year, he mowed down and killed a man with his car - and got away with it. Most people in Hollywood feel Red belongs in jail.
    Red returned as a writer and director in 2009 with the ghost movie 100 FEET starring Famke Janssen and Michael Paré, which is said to be very good. Kathryn Bigelow also returned in 2009 with THE HURT LOCKER, mentioned above; a war drama critics call a masterpiece.
    Skip that trip to the multiplex and a screening of NEW MOON this weekend. Pop by your local DVD store instead and pick up a copy of NEAR DARK. If you've seen it before, rewatch it. If you've never seen it - you're in for a treat. And I can make sure that none of the vampires in it look like Robert Pattinson and his brand of pale faced, androgynous blood-suckers!