You might wobble, you might wiggle, you, might, wiggle around just a little bit, you might beg for forgiveness in front of your god, or, possibly, Wilma Proops*, but, no matter what you do, the world, and Wilma, we see right through your charade. It doesn't take long for others to realize “you're just f**king useless."

Welcome useless friends, welcome to your own association, the International Tits-On-A-Bull Association (ITOBA), where being all-you-can-be is your highest of any calling.

There are tits, and there are tits. Regular tits are squeezed, pulled, milked, pierced, chapped, and suckled. And, as, you all know, regular tits can look pretty bad, even worn-out after decades of constant abuse.

We are a tit-above all those regular people, yes, guys, and gals. Why waste the time to be regular, average, middle-of-the-road, jack-of-all-trades, and/or helpful? You have to learn how to self-worship. Self-worshiping is the first level of the useless-state.

Some people dig holes, others fill holes, and, us, we don't even need to know which end of the shovel goes in the ground. We leave the digging to others. Why should we lower ourselves to such tedious tasks. There are plenty of people lining up constantly to achieve. It's a daunting effort, one which requires effort and muscle, and thought, and sweat. In just those words alone you can see there's not a lot of instant self-gratification. It's time consuming, and it's giving “ourselves” to others. When you give from your “whole” there is less for yourself. It's important to understand giving from your “hole” is a far better method to achieve uselessness, than giving from your “whole.”

From your hole comes the golden gift for others, thus allowing you to keep yourself, body and soul, intact. You get to keep the “whole,” and you can give the gift that keeps on coming. You don't need a place for your head, as, so many do. Your hole is a gift-giver to the world and you're giving comes from within. Every day you live you push others in an effortless, self-satisfying way to reach higher, and higher, and still higher.

And, you think to yourself, “that's pretty cool, look at all the people I've helped,” and unlike the “average” person, you gave of yourself without effort, thus preserving thy self. No sweat, no work, no nothing. Uselessness achieved.

Now you can sing our anthem, “Hi ho the dare-e-o, I am useless as can be. Hi, ho, the dare-e-o, I'm just a tit on a bull, e-i-e-i-o...”

Welcome useless people! Welcome to ITOBA! “We represent the useless people of the world.”

No callouses here, just perfection. Pure and absolute in the State of Useless!

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Associated links:
*Who the hell is Wilma Proops?
http://www.wilmaproops.blogspot.com/
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Creating A World That Works For All - the Common Way Institute (Portland, OR)
http://www.commonway.org

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