Irritating People – How To Stop Them in Their Tracks

Irritating People –How To Stop Them in Their Tracks

Get a piece of writing paper and a pen. Don’t worry; this is not going to take long. It will only take a couple of minutes.

Think of a person that irritates the daylights out of you. This should be a person that can push your buttons in a few short seconds. We aren’t considering the people that you are never around that you think you do not want to be friends with. This is to be that one person that you just can’t stand, or that can make you angry in very quick time.

Did you think of one? Think about that person for a couple of minutes. Consider the behavior or attitude that bothers you so much. Identify what that behavior or attitude is.
Write down on your paper, no names please, two or three short sentences that describe what it is about that person that irks you or angers you. Be descriptive, but brief.
Got it written down?

Now, print your name at the top of the paper.

This exercise is one that is given in psychology classes in college. Psychologists and counselors know the benefit of a client taking this exercise. The medical profession knows the truth of what this exercise represents.

Hold your paper up in front of a mirror and look at yourself. YOU are the person that you have written about on the piece of paper.

How can that be, you say? No way, you think. Never in a million years, you scream. I do not do those things. There is no way that this is describing me. Surely there are many types of thoughts like these running through your head.

It is true. We as humans are irritated or angered by the behaviors in others that we ourselves posses. The counseling profession is acutely aware of this, even though we who are untrained professionally usually don’t have a clue how this works.

Have you ever considered why one person may anger you yet not your spouse? Or why you can’t seem to stand a certain person while everyone else likes them? Or the reverse may be true; you may truly enjoy the company of a certain person while others do not like them. It is because we can not stand in another person those qualities that we are guilty of ourselves.

This is one of God’s ways of showing us the needs within ourselves for areas of change. He puts people in our lives that anger or irritate us to show us the areas of improvement that we have need of. The medical profession is aware of this, but yet not many give credit where credit is due. God has spoken this to us for years. The Word of God contains much counsel and advice concerning relational matters if we would just pay attention to it and take heed to it.

When we don’t believe that we have issue of character I am reminded of a scripture:
Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Those who deal in the matters of the heart, mind, will, and emotions do comprehend this scripture. They know we are usually the last ones to become aware of our own shortcomings.

As far as being guilty of the same characteristics as the one who irritates us, there are many scriptures to relate to this, to prove the worthiness of this exercise:

Ro 2:1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

We can say, “I do not pass judgment”…well, then we must decide what judgment means.

Judgment in this scripture is:
krino?
kree'-no
Properly to distinguish, that is, decide (mentally or judicially); by implication to try, condemn, punish: - avenge, conclude, condemn, damn, decree, determine, esteem, judge, go to (sue at the) law, ordain, call in question, sentence to, think.

Judgment according to Webster’s is:

1 a: a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b: an opinion so pronounced. 2 a: a formal decision given by a court b (1): an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2): a certificate evidencing such a decree. 3 acapitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b: a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God. 4 a: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b: an opinion or estimate so formed. 5 a: the capacity for judging : DISCERNMENT b: the exercise of this capacity. 6: a proposition stating something believed or asserted

Another good scripture to determine if the above exercise can actually be applied and believed is this:

Luke 6:41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

It is amazing to realize that a “mote” is listed as meaning:
karphos
kar'-fos
From karpho (to wither); a dry twig or straw: - mote.

And a “beam is listed as meaning:
dokos
dok-os'
From G1209 (through the idea of holding up); a stick of timber: - beam.

So we can see that a mote in your brother’s eye is a twig and a beam in your own is a stick. A mote is a small piece of a beam. Our “irritating friend” has a small part in their character of those same characteristics that we also contain.

We now understand why those certain people irritate us, so we must determine if we are going to accept this truth, and if so, what we are going to do about it.

God also has ways in His Word of helping us grow into His nature. First is the recognition that we fall short in our character:
Ps 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Ps 139:24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ro 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Second is to search our own hearts and determine if we have the desire to become more Christ like:

2Co 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Then comes the confession of such knowledge followed by much prayer:

Jas 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Knowing that what we see in someone else that bothers us so badly is God’s way of using a mirror, so to speak, so that we might see the areas in our own lives that God wants us to bring to Him for His power to change us into his image is one of the greatest tools He has given us that can impact our lives in a mighty way.

Having this knowledge and the tools that God has given us to understand the “whys” of relational issues, and to know what to do about those relational issues is a huge part of the Word of God and life as we know it. The Word of God is not just a bunch of useless scriptures meant for us to memorize. The words contained inside that book are meant to give us that abundant life that Jesus came to give us.

The next time you meet someone who can jump start your adrenaline in a negative way, take a moment and determine what it is about that person that is causing your blood pressure to rise, and then take a good, long, and honest look in the mirror. Put prayer into action. You will find that less and less, as time goes by, those people will no longer be a bother in your life, for you will be changed.

C.S.W.

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