Try to just picture this for a minute. You are watching the Academy Awards. Presenting the award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role is the undeniably beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones. She comes gliding across the stage in a breathtaking Chanel couture gown. Her raven hair is perfect, her creamy Welsh skin - glowing as beams of light radiate from her dazzling smile. She is the epitome of Hollywood glamour. The camera pans downward and...HOLD IT! She's not wearing shoes! What? SHE'S NOT WEARING SHOES?!?!?!

I've got to be honest here. I get positively disgusted when I am at a wedding or a sweet sixteen or whathaveyou and women take off their heels. Why on Earth? Why do women even bother wearing shoes in the first place if they are just going to remove them the moment they start dancing?

Obviously, there is a comfort factor involved here. Heels do not feel nice on most feet. They become even more painful when you begin moving, swaying, jumping, stomping, Cotton-Eyed-Joeing, or whatever it is you do. I have no sympathy for this. Either deal with it or select more comfortable shoes from the beginning.

I have been wearing all sorts of high heels since I was in my teens. You practice, you gain confidence, you learn how to walk in varying heel heights and widths. If you can't deal with it - and I understand that there are foot types that cannot mold to the shape of a heel - simply do not wear them. But that does not give you license to wear them until they become uncomfortable and then take them off.

There are few situations in life where bare feet are socially acceptable. The beach is one. In fact, you'd probably look like an ass if you wore shoes at the beach. Go free there if you need to feel the world under your feet. Not the dance floor at the Country Club.

Another is the shower. Of course. You gotta clean the dogs, right? Flip em, flex em, do what you want with your bare feet whilst you shower away everyday.

Also, the gynecologist. This is a bit more constrictive. After all, they are in stirrups the whole time. There is also some debate as to whether or not we are supposed to leave our socks on while having our exam. But I say, as long as you have a halfway decent pedicure, go bare!

But ladies, really. I like to think that we at least try to maintain our aura of mystery - our "feminine mystique" if you will - especially when we go through all the effort of dressing up. Removal of footwear looks as though the feet have been savagely severed at the ankles and frankly, nobody wants to see a room full of stockinged feet doing the Macarena.

Furthermore, it is a bit of a liability. Conditions become MUCH more slippery when you introduce a layer of silk and Lycra between the feet and the floor. And on top of that, WHY do I have to be made to feel guilty if I accidently step on a bare foot when my shoes have remained ON? Huh? Sorry, sister. Not my fault.

For the sake of both safety and aethetics, PLEASE my lovely ladies, leave your shoes on. You KNOW that if the Catherine Zeta-Jones situation ever happened, you'd all be writing celebrity gossip stories about her the next day...