This fine weekend was expected to be lame concidering how many of our friends went home for the weekend. Little did we know how awesome it was going to be. I can't just write this story as one night like most of my stories, this one has to be a story of a weekend, as it pretty much all blended together. Obviously it started on a thursday, as every weekend in Pullman starts on a thursday. We began with some beer pong at my house, which ended very quickly because I do not like my apartment to become messy, so Dustin suggested we go to his house. We of course went, and kept up the same pace of drinking our livers into hatred. I don't recall the exact events that took place, but somehow we all got real fucked-in-half, it could have been the power passing of the Monarch, or just the fact that we went through five 30 packs. I remember that a buddy of mine named Kevin Dunn came over, we played a few more games of pong, and then he convinced me that it was a good idea to go back to his house and play the power passing game with some Bacardi Lemon and 2 cases of Rockstar. Then I stole Kevin's bed and made him sleep in his chair that the weekend prior I was duct-taped in. The next morning we both woke up feeling like shit and didn't move from the couch until I got picked up by Dustin at around 4 oclock to start the drinking all over again. This night in particular was super exciting. Started again with beer pong and power passing Monarch. The next thing I remember we (being Dustin and I) came up with the idea that we hated his neighbors, and we were going to jump the fence and piss on their house. We successfully made it over the fence and both peed on the house, and all of the sudden, just out of fucking nowhere, I see Dustin squat and take the most discusting but franlky amazingly fast SHIT on their doorstep. Funniest fucking thing I have ever seen. Then we went back to Dustin's, and I went to a kegger, where all I found myself thinking was how gay it was, so I stole their protein out of pure drunkenness and then went back to Dustin's house. When I got back we all took turns riding trashcans down the hill. Which I might add is very fun and should be experienced by everyone in and out of college life. We went to the backyard and what do you know. Those scumbag neighbors decided that it must have been us who pooped on there house and threw the poop back. What a bunch of dirty rotten scoundrels who should deserve to get shit on. I mean they didn't know it was us who did that. So, I get rowdy and through a full size cooler over the fence with the intent to do soe real damage, when really all it gets me is revenge. Some dumbass actually through the cooler back, hitting me in the head and knocking me to the ground. Now I simply could not tolerate this so I had to jump the fence and confront someone. I start yelling at the first person I see about how a cooler someone magically flew over the fence and knocked my drunk ass to the pavement. Eventually his fucking pussy and discrace of a man, tries to blame the flying cooler on his girlfriend. I mean seriously I discovered why he was called a boyfriend, he was clearly a boy. I decide he is not even worth my presence and leave. To put an end to this night, I got my shirt ripped off, lost Dustin's sandles and went on my first trash can ride. I loved every moment of it. Then came Saturday, which really was a great end to the weekend. We had a feast during the day...well, a college feast, spaghetti, and chilli dogs. I don't know if that is usually classified as a feast, but we loved every bite of it. Once we were full and ready to punish our bodies for yet another night we went on a beer run and got enough beer for 5 people for the night... four 30 packs. We got back to Dustin's house, got as much drinking in as we possibly could before the party we were going to go check out. Of, course we were all wasted when we left, and decided to take the neighbor's yard waste bin for a ride down the street, Dustin and I were riding the same one and I rode the can half way into the main street that ran through campus. At the time I didn't think I could get hurt but I look back on it now and thank god no cars where coming at that exact moment. We made our way to the kegger, and it actually turned out to be a good time, normally I don't like going to keggers at people's houses I don't know. Alot of the kids seemed to be kinda nerdy so I also felt more comfortable and better about myself. I got extremely retarded and began to try and start some form of riot or in general just get everone wound up. So I started GO COUGS chants and I guess there were a few more things chanted that probably should not be repeated, but just know that we were at a kegger at a cowboy's house. When we were good and ready to go and play some more pong and see if we could black out and do something stupid we went back to Dustin's which is where I got pretty damn angry. The night before, Dustin, for no apparent reason ripped my shirt in half, tonight I guess my jeans were subject to destruction. Billy grapped the back pocket and ripped my jeans clear in half. Then I got a knife and cut his shirt in half. I still felt like I had lost the battle especially since right after this happened I made some burritos, and they pulled a disappearing act right into Billy's stomach. So, I just took a little strole down the street after I was called half eggplant. But oh well, what do you know the next thing I am doing is heading over to my neighborhood with Billy and Paul to play some Super Mario, and drink my way into a deep slumber. Which of course turned out as planned, as I didn't even make it to play Mario. This concludes yet another weekend story in the life of Bryan Aiken and fearless adventurers.