Not content with being an under-qualified plumber, Joe Wurzelbacher is now strutting around the world as a reporter. Even worse he was given an assignment as a foreign correspondent covering the conflict in Gaza and Israel.
This is yet another blow to serious journalism. Yes, the industry does encompass many mediums, including editorials and experimental forms which are useful if presented with some forethought and intelligence. But come on. Oh please! Joe the Plumber? Reporting from a war zone? In fact it’s almost too ludicrous to ponder.

“Say it ain’t so Joe, say it ain’t so!”

Alas, it is true, and here’s a sample of Joe’s analytical thinking skills: “I think media should be abolished from, you know, reporting.”

Oh dear me!

Many of my fellow journalists (trained and experienced) would agree that throwing titles like this around demeans the whole profession. It also undermines undergraduate and graduate programs and insults those who spend many years and a lot of money pursuing a journalism career.

Joe was sent on this mission by a website called pjtv.com. Someone needs to take them aside and explain that reporting from a war zone (or anywhere else for that matter) requires some basic skills, such as: being articulate, possessing a vocabulary above fifth grade level, a degree - in something other than plumbing. How about some journalistic integrity, training and knowledge of media law and ethics? A rudimentary understanding of Middle Eastern issues even?

Has this guy ever left Ohio before? Could he point Israel out on a map?

What’s next on his multi-tasking agenda? Joe the Surgeon? Joe the Pilot? Joe the Nuclear Physicist? Then there’s every hot-blooded female’s favorite, Joe the Gynecologist? “This may feel a little cold Miss Jones” – Hey Joe that’s a plunger dude! See what lack of training can lead to!

Let’s go back to pjtv.com, the organization that hired him. Who are these guys? Let me Google it…be right back. Ah, I see, it’s all a little clearer now. This isn’t actually a ‘real’ news establishment, but a Web site run by the conservative media outlet Pajamas Media. Phew! With a name like that you want to tell them to go back to bed and stay there. Leave reporting to the pros. But I’m being harsh; they seem like a pretty well qualified bunch. The Philadelphia Editor, for instance, has a PhD in Physics and Astronomy.

The website tells us Pajamas Media was established in 2005 as an “affiliation of 90 of the most influential weblogs on the internet,” and an alternative to mainstream media. And that ‘my friends’ is a very worthy cause. One could argue that the ‘drive-by’ media as Rush Limbaugh likes to call it, has been terminally ill for quite some time. Independent and alternative sources are essential in a ‘free country’, especially when objectivity has become obsolete. I’m rather tired of watching reporters and newscasters salivate over Obama. We know its historic guys. We got it. And, yes the kids are very cute. And I’m sure we’ll be kept well informed about the first dog. Wipe those tears away!

Well at least they’re articulate. Except, maybe, Chris Matthews. But he’s not really a journalist, right?
Let’s take a peek at what Joe the genius had to say to the Associated Press. “You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, ‘well, look at this atrocity,’ well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.”
Beg pardon?

Here’s some more, this is good stuff, you couldn’t make this up. Joe apparently thinks Israel should have attacked Gaza sooner. And he told reporters that he was a “peace-loving man,” but added,”When someone hits me, I'm going to unload on the boy.”

This is funny, in a sick, ‘hysterical outburst of nervous laughter at a funeral’ kind of way. But with George W. Bush back in Texas we need someone else to make fun of.

So really what’s next for our friend Joe? Will he write a book - “Plumbing for Dummies?” I read on the internet (so it could be true) that Joe misspelled his last name on a voter registration form. Hmmm, that may bode ill for a writing career. Maybe acting, then, that doesn’t require much intelligence after all. He could become a messenger of peace for the UN along with Charlize Theron.

Well, hey, if he really wants to be a part of the media surely there’s a Plumbing Blog he could have someone ghost write for him for goodness sake?

So is journalism as we know it dead? Let’s see. Right now it’s in ICU. A prognosis doctor? Not good, comatose. Any, you know, like, hope? I see eye movement…

I’ll leave you with the wise words of a most distinguished journalist, a ‘profile of courage and integrity’, America’s favorite plumber, Mr. Joe Wurzelbacher:

“You guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. I like back in World War I and World War II when you go to the theater and you’d see your troops, on, you know the screen, and everyone would be happy for them. Now everyone’s got an opinion…”

Journalism – the end is nigh…

“…send not to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.” John Donne

Alison Hill is an Emmy nominated Producer, journalist and writer, whose media career spans twelve years and two continents. She is a regular commentator on BBC Radio news programs. Alison has worked as a television investigative journalist for ITV1/Channel 4 Wales, as a public affairs producer for PBS, as a newspaper reporter... and so much more… www.serenmediaproductions.com