Joel Walker's Band: Bambie Forever or 8 months

I followed the boys for over two months to find out what it takes to break into the Orange County music scene with a band living an "Alternative" lifestyle. In a world where unorthadoxed rock is king, how will the morals and values of Bambie hold up? With a name like that whose questioning credibility? They are totally hardcore! I show you their first show threw the eyes of the band.

Joel Walker’s Band
By Susan Morgan

Joel Walker is not to be stumped by the largest word in the dictionary. He is incredibly bright for his age after being home schooled and taking college level courses. He possesses the talent to play multiple instruments, write musical score, and is the master mind behind a Christian rock band, singing and writing the lyrics. It is no wonder why he would use an incredibly vast vocabulary to express not only his quick wit but his deep thoughts. Yet, he is still learning how to weave these impressive words in and out of normal conversation. Joel is one of these amazing people who can talk and talk, and the listener is forced to dissect his words for meaning. Any girl who has spent more than five minutes with Joel is accustomed to this.

Although not everyone has recorded an acoustic record in their basement, Joel is like any normal 18 year old boy. He has had to overcome many obstacles that include depression, broken hearts, and the on going struggle to preserve his Christian faith. While other boys would take their stress out on sports, parents, or in a journal writing poems no one will hear, Joel has taken the next step. From his memoirs he has built a band that encompasses his faith, his heartbreak and his love for music. It was only four months ago that Joel Walker, his brother and close friends became a serious Christian rock band. Less than two months ago, they were in a recording studio laying down their Demo called “Into Heaven’s Time.” A month ago their website was born and now they are preparing for their first live performance opening for Great Glass Elevator, who are deeply revered by the scene.

It’s 2pm and a black van pulls up into The Village Church parking lot in Garden Grove, California. It’s Josiah Johnson’s van, but it used to be a soccer mom’s vehicle, so now it has a soccer mom’s name. Linda Stevenson, the boys call it. Josiah’s brother Jacques waves out the window to Kyle as he gets Jake’s (the band’s photographer) wheel chair out of the car. He went to the doctors about a lump on his leg and discovered he had numerous tumors on the bone. A short time later they performed a successful surgery that left him switching back and forth from crutches to wheel chair. Jake pulls himself out of the car and holds himself up with crutches. He hobbles slowly behind Kyle who throws a black gig bag containing his electric guitar, into the wheel chair and wheels it into the sanctuary.

Jacques’ real name is Jake, but he has changed it for the better of the band. It sounds cooler. Jacques takes his last sip of Coke from a Wendy’s cup and brushes his long black bangs away from his eyes. He grabs his bass from the third row seat of Linda and jets into the sanctuary. Kyle comes out and informs Josiah that he needs to drive Linda over to the Walker’s home to pick up some equipment. Josiah pulls out of the parking lot and hits the speed dial on his cell. Joel’s voice murmurs on the receiving end. Josiah explains to him how much nicer it would be to have a sound system. They don’t have anyone to work the church’s sound board, so they have to use their amps and match the sound the best they can. Depending on where an audience member stands they’ll hear a different instrument. The guitar might be louder on one side of the stage and the bass louder on the other. Josiah reaches for his soda and the straw spits out what’s left of a watered down Coke. He puts it down and reaches over to Jacques’ Coke and takes a swig only to hear the spattering of a straw sucking up the last few drops. Damn.

He pulls up into the Walker’s drive way. Daniel Walker, the oldest and most laid back of the band at age 20, has already packed his drum kit into his car, but there are some amps and wires that don’t fit. His shirt reads, “Made from 100% Recycled mice.” He seems to have it together while Joel stresses out. Joel paces in circles picking up random objects in the garage and looking under them or behind them. He can’t find Josiah’s tuning pedal. All three of them search around for a few minutes and then give up. Mikael Walker, the youngest of the Walker brothers at 16, steps out onto the driveway to announce he has been given the job of Merch Boy at today’s show. The band doesn’t have shirts or badges yet, but they do have demos which Mikael will try to sell for a dollar. They load the van and Joel and Daniel follow Josiah back to the Church.

James has finally arrived at the church. He hadn’t made any promises he would be here and had warned that due to excessive school work he might not show up at all. He is always under pressure, but always comes through even if some of the band’s members refuse to see it. He is not unlike Joel. They were once best of friends that attended home school together and shared a passion for music. Over time, however, they have become different people with different agendas. They both care about the band but in different ways. James isn’t sure if Joel’s dedication is the sort he can give when college is around the corner and his parents disapprove of his hobby. It will not be too long before James will have to either commit more than he can imagine right now, or leave the band. It doesn’t matter how much he says he loves the band, he will have to prove it with actions. This is Joel’s brain child and James will have to conform.

The band assembles in the sanctuary where they plan to put in one last practice before show time. There is some confusion as to whether or not Great Glass Elevator will be performing tonight after all. The events building up to the show could have been taken as a sign. Kyle booked the show at the Plush, a club in Anaheim, but they were double booked and Kyle had to change the location. Now the headlining band is calling to cancel because their lead singer is sick and coughing up blood. Kyle debates with them on the phone as to whether or not they can still play without a singer. They promise to come but can not make any promises as to performing.

The show is now in the sanctuary which has really good acoustics. Joel’s parents will be here as well as his other relatives, close friends and pretty much anyone he cares about. Yet he is self-assured and very confident because he has played this stage many times before. This is where they used to rehearse and where their name was born. They used to be called In Sueth Indeed, but that was before they got serious. Two months ago, after recording their demo, Kyle suggested they change the name. They had to get serious. A name like In Sueth Indeed had served Joel well while the band was in its infancy, but now that it was developing into a band with a kaleidoscope of songs it was obvious they needed a more mature name. That night Kyle suggested the band be called Bambi.
A small argument ensued about the respectability of the name. Joel stood by his song writing and felt the name cheapened his lyrics and made the band sound like a joke. Jacques argued that a name like Bambi would be good for the band because it would get people’s attention. “The key is getting the people slapped in the face initially, and those people who got slapped in the face are slapping their friends in the face. It’s a chain reaction!” Jacques created slapping sounds with his hands.

Joel didn’t want a name that slapped people in the face. Kyle argued that the name was like the Beatles. Band names are bad unless the music is good. “The Beatles,” he argued, “sounds like a little girl’s soccer team, ‘The ladybugs vs. The Beatles.’ Yet, the Beatles are one of the greatest bands on the face of the earth.” Could Bambi have the same fate?
It wasn’t until the next day at rehearsal in the sanctuary that the name came to be. Josiah had thought of the perfect compromise. He changed Bambi to Bambie and made it an acronym. The name now has lasting power. Bambie now stands for Battered Among Men, Blessed In Eternity. It was a way for them to have the best of both worlds. They could have a crazy name and declare their faith. They checked online to see if the name had already been taken. The only other bands they could find with similar names were Bambi Helicopter and the Bambi Molesters. Bambie with an e was official. It was on the sanctuary stage that Joel announced that they would be called Bambie.

Tonight he will finally get a chance to tell the entire crowd their name and where they are from. They practice for a few hours and their folks show up to give them support and best wishes. It’s not the ideal rock show the guys had hoped for. They want to play real clubs, not churches, and have complete strangers hear their music as well as friends and family. Tonight, the only strangers will be friends of friends.

Jake is having a ball spinning around in his wheel chair in the clearing they made in front of the stage. He can’t help but feel like part of the band because it’s his picture on the cover of the demo. That night he had taken the pictures was quite memorable. It was at Joel’s birthday party at the Old Spaghetti Factory that they all decided to take their album pictures at the Fullerton Train Station. Two nights later Jake was in the chilled night air flashing away at the six boys in black skin tight t-shirts and girl’s low rider, hip-hugger jeans. Kyle had the perfect cover planned out in his head of them holding their instruments. Most rock groups consider it uncool to put their faces on the album cover, but Kyle knew that having them hold their instruments would win back their credibility. “No band ever does this,” he said.

Jake’s camera battery died and Kyle and he left to get a new one. When they returned the band was huddled in a circle playing their unplugged instruments and singing a song called Butterfly by Weezer. Their baritone raspy vocals hummed in the crisp still air. “Every time I pin down one I think I won, it slips away. It always slips away-hey-hey-hey.” The photos were a big move for the band and they would use them on their new website as well as their Demo.

Now Jake is here to witness the next phase. Tonight, he knows, is going to be their biggest step towards making it in the Orange County music scene.

The scene is the core. Without the scene supporting the band, they will have to build a fan base from scratch. That’s why they are hoping Great Glass will play a couple of shows with them. Sure they love their music and deeply respect them as musicians, but the fact remains that without Great Glass ushering them into the scene, they have to work a lot harder and do a lot more shows. Great Glass is quickly becoming a household name so they are the key to breaking into the scene without breaking a sweat. GGE also brings in a lot of people to their shows.

A few weeks ago they played at Chain Reaction in Anaheim to a standing room only crowd. It was extremely important for Joel to see them because they influenced him so much. In his song “Winter” the lyrics “ take back the day that my wings failed you as I fell from your sky into heaven’s time” sound like a response to GGE’s lyrics ”On wings of wax you’ll fly away and I will be screaming from earth please stay” from the song “My little Icarus.” This is not a coincidence. Joel looks up to performers like David Braun of Great Glass. He had formed the sound of the band and the style of songs from bands like GGE, Elliot Smith, Die Radio Die, Thursday, and Taking Back Sunday. Christianity and emo are the foundations of this band. Like most teenagers, Joel wants to belong and he wants to be cool. He desperately tries to be the quintessential emo kid and be apart of the emo scene that is growing popular in the OC.

Emo, pronounced eee-moe, is short for emocore which is a contraction for emotional hardcore. It used to be a genre of punk rock but is now considered a part of alternative rock. Bands like Thursday and Taking Back Sunday play punk like music with extremely emotional lyrics that can sometimes lead to crying and screaming on stage. Once in the family of punk music, it was quickly disowned because the outpour of emotion had punk fans labeling them as “wimps.” The term emo no longer applies to just music but as a way of life as Joel proudly attests to everyday. Being an emo kid has the stereotype of being depressed or sad. Most emo kids are easy to pick out on the street because they are depressed and so wear a lot of black, often the same thing a few days in a row. They also dye their hair black and don’t comb it or wash it so it gets crazy tangles and thick clumps. In short, the emos of today are a lot like the hippies of the 60s and the new wavers of the 80s: overly sensitive and can only be tolerated for short periods of time.

On the night GGE played Chain; the scene was in full swing and Joel and Kyle loved every minute of it. That is until the bill changed and GGE was pushed back. They were the last band to perform that night and had been pushed back another hour to fit in a band from Louisville, Kentucky. Joel had frantically called his mother to let her know he’d be late because his curfew had been set at 11 o’ clock on weeknights. He nervously paced back and forth in the side alley of the club debating with his mother on the phone. No matter what his defense was his mother continually came back at him with the fact that Joel had a lot of homework to do and he needed to finish it.

What Joel really needed was to see Great Glass at Chain Reaction, his favorite club where he sees every band he loves. His mother just couldn’t understand. His eyes were swelling up with tears and it wasn’t just about tonight. He, like many teenage boys before him, struggle with parental constraint. Thirty minutes passed and he had been on and off the phone three times with his mother. Each time he would seek out Kyle for wisdom on how to convince his mother to let him see Great Glass. After the forth call his will was crushed and he decided to give up.

“Mikael,” he said, “We gotta go.” Mikael’s face turned to horror. He wanted to stay to see GGE too. “Mom says that if we’re not home by 11, we’re grounded and can’t go out on weeknights anymore.” That would mean no shows on weeknights and they had to play shows on weeknights and might even have to play shows past 11 o’ clock. Joel’s early curfew was becoming nothing more than a barrier to the band’s well being.
“Let’s go,” he said fighting back the emotions welling up in his eyes.
“Where are you going?” Daniel asked.

Joel explained how he had been treated by mom and how he had to leave. Daniel’s face lit up brighter than the street light illuminating the alley. He laughed as he told Joel he had just got off the phone to mom.

“You didn’t tell her you were with me? It’s totally different with me here! I told her you were and she says it’s fine if you stay. Just as long as you have me looking out for you,” he said. Joel’s smile froze out of complete amazement. He ran and jumped onto Daniel giving him a big hug and Mikael ran in behind him. It looked like team Walker had just won the super bowl as they shared this brotherly moment with strangling hugs and assertive pats on the back.

The rock n’ roll lifestyle is one filled with sex, drugs, alcohol, and a need to rebel and create a revolution. So it is funny to think that a group of Christian kids have decided to form a rock band without any narcotics or puking the next day. The band is based on Joel’s words which seem to spring from his head like a manic depressant jack in the box. Since he was six years old he has had a strong relationship with music. After being classically trained in several instruments including piano, trumpet, jazz bass guitar, and sax, he decided to leave the nit picky world of classical for the sloppy and ruthless sound of rock. Here he could be free to scream and strain his voice in erratic crescendos and not have to worry about staying on key.

Bambie, in their own way, are examples of six people doing it for the music and the passion instead of all the other stuff that usually gets in the way. Joel’s lyrics subtly mention God but are not blown out in an evangelical sort of way. He wants everyone to appreciate his music, not just Christians. For instants in his song “Submarines,” a Christian can read into the lyrics and hear the metaphor for needing Christ in your life, but it might go unnoticed by the ear of a nonbeliever.

“Radars are calling! SOS, starboard side!
Overboard! Just like always, close off the hatch,
Say Goodbye before it’s too late, it’s too late!
Something is calling, a small anxious beacon to light up the
Gloom in your sad small heart.”
The message that God is calling amidst the anarchy, appearing as a beacon of light as the cure for a sad heart, can easily go unnoticed by those who wish not to hear it. Joel’s metaphors come to a climax in the song “Streetlight Silhouettes.” The song is about a questioning of faith; a questioning of circumstance.
“... Somebody has a medic bag,
Across the street and bringing something to turn the key
And finally heal the sickness in your heart that’s speeding,
Speeding seconds faster to the tempo of a beating maddening drum,
The moment’s lost in a headlight, you spit up the formula and
Suddenly the moment’s a mistake,
Doctor is this all that you can do?”
Could the Doctor be God? The song can double as an anthem for those questioning their faith. For those who have no faith, or a different faith, it is a questioning of authority.
“Facts are facts, I have a deep faith in God and these passions will, because of my devotion to my Creator, come out not only describing His work and His influence, but the beauty from which He graciously extends to us.”

Joel experienced a month long period of depression. It came without any warning and without any particular cause. During this month, which he spent locked up in his room unable to feel, the skies were gray and his room was dark. He was spiraling for the worse, like an episode of Behind the Music. Life had no meaning and for a Christian that means grappling with faith. He turned to his pen and began writing, creating a song that would become the band’s signature progressive power ballad, “Winter.” Continuing in the theme of shows like True Hollywood Story, Joel abandoned his depression through music and left the dreary experience behind him, never looking back, and never going back. The chorus is a haunting reminder of those dark days.
“I’m bleeding to empty tomorrow of tragedy
And light up the gray skies,
I’m dreaming of ending winter now
And give you my aching and longing heart.”
Once again, Joel uses more ambiguous lyrics to veil his spiritual message. He means to give his heart to God, but doesn’t come right out and say it.
“This song stemmed off of a time earlier this year where I was held back
from all activities in my life because of the deep, depressing struggles I was going through in order to find my way back to life.”

It isn’t hard to imagine the rock star lifestyle sanding down his once thick Christian skin. He is smoking every once in a while now, kissing a girl or two, but is mostly consumed with making it in the big time. What once started as a jamming between friends is quickly turning into a race for success. Although the band doesn’t exude the rock and roll stereotype , some of the band members are getting blinded by stars.
Joel, who was once a gentleman, is now letting girls he barely likes hang around him to ooh and aah his cool lyrics and his exuberant stage performance. He has even decided to phase his brother Daniel out of the band. Daniel doesn’t know it yet, but his first show with the band might be his last because Joel and Kyle have decided that if a member can’t do a year tour within a year’s time, they’re not dedicated enough. Considering the fact that Daniel has one year left of school before receiving his Bachelors in Biology on a scholarship, it doesn’t look like he can spare the time. But Daniel knows that their mother would never let Joel give up college to tour with his band, and Joel is aware of it too. It comes down to the fact that Daniel can keep a rhythm but not to the level needed to catapult them to fame.

Daniel won’t be alone in this phasing out of weak members because James is the next to go. James, who works two jobs and has been lining up scholarships, is also not dedicated enough for Joel and Kyle. They’ve been having an ongoing battle with James missing rehearsal, and turning down shows. James is in this band to be in a band and jam and that’s what he thought he signed up for. Due to the fact that everything is happening for Bambie so fast, the growing spurt they are experiencing is extremely painful. James is taking a two month break to focus on work and school. What he doesn’t know is that he won’t be rejoining Bambie in the spring.

Joel has every right to do as he pleases regardless of feelings involved. After all, this is his band. A screaming banshee of Godly passion and teenage struggle wrapped up in verse. The songs carried their way from the Holy Spirit within to the page, then the garage and now to the Sanctuary.

The room had every hustle and bustle of a Friday night with teens unwinding from their week of school and eyes glistening over at the thought that tomorrow will be Saturday. Over a hundred people are in the sanctuary and outside in the night air anticipating the show. The girl’s giggles of glee seem to be fueled by the electric sex of the guitars. As everyone makes their way to a seat or to stand in the clearing in front of the stage James averts his eyes in a conversation with his girlfriend. His pale face and worrisome eyes can’t hide his sadness. He doesn’t know he’s already gone, but he can’t ignore the vibes he’s getting. He doesn’t want to have to choose between his education and his favorite band, so he continues to lie to himself and tell himself that they would never actually make him choose.

After a few minutes the lights come down and Bambie takes the stage. Great Glass Elevator, with the exception of their lead singer David, are standing to the side of the stage. Out of comradery, Barrett, Andrew and Matt stand at the front of the stage on the floor. The guitars latent with heavy distortion reverberate from the amps. Looking like a cat being electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights, Joel sporadically busts out in chaotic convulsions. Sometimes it looks together, but other times it has the appearance of trying a little too hard. He is jumping around on stage like Mick Jagger on caffeine pills and often losing his footing and accidentally bashing into his bass player. For their first show they are doing great. It’s not even their third song and thirteen year old girls are already chanting in unison, “You’re hot!” In the silent seconds of song transitions, different names are shouted along with sexually harassing comments that can only be legal at a rock show. Clichés like, “Joel, I want to have your baby,” and “I love you.”
Great Glass whisper to each other and sometimes smirk. At the beginning it was an utter look of shock for Josh, the drummer of Great Glass. Now half the band and he are standing by the doorway at the back of the sanctuary. The feeling is mutual between the band and they feel Bambie has potential. The set is short, but passionate, concluding with loud applause. After friends and family finish swarming the stage to congratulate the boys, they put the sanctuary back together and load up their equipment. Some of the kids decide to go to Del Taco for the after show shenanigans. All the parents leave for Denny’s. Del Taco is the place to be for the after party. The trail of cars following one after another pull up to the Del Taco across from Office Max in Garden Grove, where employees stare cautiously out the Plexiglas windows at the herd of teenagers that have taken over their patio.

They are proud of what they did. It is only their first show and already they are better than half the garage bands playing small clubs in the OC area. Unfortunately, they are also starting to show their weaknesses.

Epilogue
After the show it’s the after party, after the party, it’s time to call it a night. Bambie’s first show was a sign of hope. It was also a foreshadowing of grim events. The next day they met for a band meeting where Joel told Daniel that he was out. Daniel took it well, but Josiah didn’t. Josiah was angry and crushed that the decision was made without him. More importantly he was angry at the idea that Joel would toss out his own brother. Josiah told his brother Jacques that if Daniel is out, he is out. Jacques took the side of Joel and Kyle, agreeing that Daniel isn’t the best drummer in the world. James missed the meeting and has since left the band. Joel already has a replacement drummer lined up and ready to take Daniel’s place. Although he is taking it well, Daniel is hurt because he has put in as much sweat and time as anyone else, devoting hours and months to the band he could have put elsewhere, but he was under the belief that this band was a family affair
By losing his brother and getting a better crafted musician Joel will excel in the scene. It is a trade off that’s worth it to a young man searching for depth and reason in the shallow end of the pool. A young man trying to fit into a rock edged world that frowns upon organized religion and conformity. A fan named Julia sent Bambie an email expressing what Joel really wanted to hear amidst all his ramblings of musician ideals and passionate philosophies. “Bambie, your name is etched in a Del Taco table somewhere so you are officially approved of by society. Congrats on your show.”

Joel is now accepted into a world that consumes his identity for acceptance by people who will never truly know him. All along he has been searching for an audience that will praise him. No one writes music to play for themselves. At the heart of every writer is the longing to be heard. Joel Walker is still experimenting with what his message to the music world will be one day. He’s already decided it won’t be “don’t judge a book by its cover,” no matter how tempting it is to assume that Bambie already incubuses that mantra. Joel will continue to grow along with Bambie and hopefully the music will mature into a clearer picture of what he has in his head. Their sound as well as their lyrics will become strong and clear instead of confusing and clouded by metaphors.
Since the dispute occurred, the band has decided to stay together as they once were and not settle anything. Daniel is still in the band unfavorably and his removal has only been postponed for a while. James is not returning to the band. They are currently doing shows at local clubs as well as churches in Orange County with other local acts. They have yet to get a show together with Great Glass Elevator, but are working on it.

They disbanded forming another band with all the same members accept a different drummer called Billy Sunday and that too has broken up. Joel Walker is attending Biola University and looking into solo projects