Jon And Check
Jon And Check
English is a funny language. Everyone knows it. It gets funnier when a true bred Englishman meets a person who has learnt his English from the Rapid-ex English course and missed the contact classes and of course his audio cassettes got lost.
Check - My name is Check, I was born in Czechoslovakia
Jon - My name is Jon.
Check - Were you born in a john?
Jon - I take exception to such a joke
Check –Accepting with such graze! You will be fined.
Jon – Fined? For what? I will raze you to ground.
Check – Grate are the people who raise downtrodden to the ground.
Jon – My rage is getting the better of me.
Check – Too much of butter. England is a grate country. I touch it’s feat.
Jon – I feel like putting my feet in your arse.
Check – I do not have ass. I died it a while ago
Jon – Dyed? How?
Check – Lack of air.
Jon – Dyed. Lack of hair?
Check - It died of no air. Couldn’t breathe.
Jon – Couldn’t breathe because no heir?
Check – It growned..
Jon – Why did it groan?
Check – Groan? It bawled.
Jon – It groaned because it had become bald?
Check – No it had oral problem.
Jon – It couldn’t speak…
Check – It could speak all right. Aloud too!
Jon – You allowed it to speak.
Check – Yes. It was discussing.
Jon - Why disgusting?
Check – With my ant.
Jon – Your aunt found it?
Check – saw him but…
Jon - Saw him.. Butt?
Check – let me finish… she couldn’t sent him
Jon – she couldn’t scent it where?
Check - In the hole…
Jon – Phew…
Check - Not few. Many partners in the hole... what you say stable…
Jon – It had sex?
Check – yes, many sects in donkeys too.
Jon - sucker..
Check – They find succour.
Jon – Shouldn’t leave them loose
Check – they have to go to loo's at times
Jon – Put them in a cell.
Check – No sell. We collar them
Jon – Colour them ?
Check - Band them.
Jon – Good heavens. What if they are not subscribed?
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Submitted by 
How
If you learn English like in many Italian schools, you have just to read and translate a lot of pages... at the end students can read and translate, sometimes they can write too, but ... Do you SPEAK English????
Teachers have forgotten, what is a language: language-linguaggio-lingua-... tongue
Italian school in Germany teaching English!
I am confused. Your profile says Germany, but you keep referring to Italy. I do speak English. The teachers don't teach you to speak English, the circumstances do.
There are
many Italians in Germany!
We're all not really happy to be here, but we survive!
I need English sometimes in some courses or music lessons.
I remember my first time in Germany: I could speak a little bit English but I could understand German (german lessons at the University: read and translate, please!).
It was something like:
Wie heißt du?
My name is...
Wie alt bist du?
I'm ... old
Funny... now.
Ahh...the English Languge
Be it spoken by Americans, the British, Australians, etc., can be misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misused by many - native speakers and non-native speakers alike.