Every year about this time you can sense that there is something in the air. No, it is not spring, at least not for far too many men in the United States. Although Spring is indeed, in the air, this is not what is on their minds. You start seeing them around the office muttering to themselves, bending over pieces of paper with strangely-drawn lines all over them. Most of the times these pieces of paper have words typed on them but the type-face is so small you practically need a magnifying glass to see the words.

These men have some kind of gene that I apparently do not have. They get nervous and anxious this time of year. They even make plans, so I hear, to take days off of work. Why? Because of the NCAA basketball tournament.

I have to admit, that I just don’t get it. I have tried. I have tried and tried many times to get into this thing. Every year I am certain that I will find that one thing that makes the tournament so exciting. I keep waiting for the penny to drop in my head and then suddenly it will all make sense. However, even when I try to participate in the tournaments pools, I still find myself unable to get into the damn thing. I would rather watch Olympic curling than the NCAA basketball games.

There are those who honestly feel this is the greatest event in sports. I have heard many a sportscaster or commentator say that very thing. The problem is, I just don’t see why. Sure, there are often upsets and there is the occasional underdog story, but so what?

I guess for me to have an attachment to a sports team I need some attachment, however tenuous, to the place where that team is located. I am a Chicago White Sox fan because I grew up and still live in Chicago. This is also why I root for the Bears, Bulls and Blackhawks. When I lived in St. Louis I also rooted for the St. Louis Rams. I root for the Northwester Wildcats in college football because Evanston is the closest major college football team near where I grew up. For me the team, in some juvenile and silly way, represents my city or the place where I grew up. That gives me some vested interest in the teams.

Well, I didn’t go to Duke. I didn’t go to North Carolina or Vanderbilt or Villanova or even Valparaiso. I went to a small school near St. Louis called Webster University. They had a sports program but, let me be the first to tell you, it was an after-thought at best. My college was full of theater students who all thought they were going to win Tony Awards or media students like myself who all thought we were going to direct movies or become newscasters.

The school had no football team, unless you are from a country that considers soccer actually football. We had a basketball team, but I never knew a single person who was on it. For the first three years I was there the team had to play at local high school gyms because there was no place on campus for them to play. Then they finally built a gym my senior year and the team finally had a place to play. I saw all of one game my entire four years.

What I remember about the team was that it was full of foreign exchange students. I remember a number of Asian students on the team. As I recall they were on there just spending time until baseball season started. Yes, we also had a baseball team. I never knew anyone who was on that team either and never had a clue where that team played.

So, you see, my college sports experience is limited. The Webster University Gorlocks (yes, Gorlocks) will never be seen playing in the NCAA Tournament. So, whatever connection to a university I have is gone right away. As such, I find it really hard to give a damn about any of the other schools. If I didn’t go there, why should I care?

The closest we get here in Chicago is when the University of Illinois does well. A few years back they made it all the way to the end and then lost the final game. I have friends who went there and they invited me over to watch the game and that was fun. However, had I been sitting home alone, I probably would have checked out what the Mythbusters were doing that night instead.

At one time we had the DePaul Blue Demons and they would sometimes make it fairly far into the tournament. At least DePaul is right in the heart of the city which almost makes them a true Chicago team. However, it has been ages since they even made it into the tournament and if I think the NCAA Tournament is boring I am never going to be interested in the NIIT Tournament for the also-rans.

So, I spend March just shaking my head. I don’t get it. I try to watch the games but find they only serve the purpose of helping me fall asleep for a nap on my couch. I also find this a good use for golf, by the way, and that is even when Tiger is playing.

I know people who get way into this. I know people who follow college basketball like a religion. I know towns, such as St. Louis, who have no basketball team and have ONLY college basketball to follow. Again, I didn’t go there and I don’t know anyone who is going there, so I don’t care. I don’t see the point and I can’t seem to make myself care no matter how much drama you try to tell me is inherent in the damn thing.

So, fellas, I hope you enjoy filling out your brackets. I bet most of yours were ruined after the first round. I bless those of you who manage to be into the pools until the end. I congratulate you if you do manage to win. For those of you who watch is without having money at stake, you baffle me. I wish you much enjoyment, but I will be here to fill you in on Mythbusters once the tournament is over, don’t you worry.