Just What is a Woman's Prerogative?

We have all heard that little gem “it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind”; what most folks don’t realize, is that women have a number of other, lesser known, prerogatives.

1. THE SILENT TREATMENT:
It is the woman’s prerogative to give anybody she chooses, the silent treatment. Especially her man, and most especially when he is asking where one of his items that she has moved (refer to prerogative #3). The woman may give the silent treatment for as long as she chooses. This has been known to last anywhere from ten minutes to ten days. It is not in the man’s best interest to provoke the woman into giving him the silent treatment in order to have quiet so he can watch the game; the woman has many other ways to loudly proclaim her displeasure, non-verbally. (refer to prerogative #4)

2. KEEP HIM WAITING:
It is a woman’s prerogative to make a man wait. It does not matter what the situation or the occasion is, he must be patient and greet her in a cheerful manner when she does finally make her appearance. If he does make any comments about her late arrival…refer to prerogative #1. For a woman to look her best, she must not be rushed. She may also ask the man if her outfit makes her butt look fat, there is no right answer to this question so the best thing for the man to do is tell her that she looks beautiful and change the subject. Even better would be to make the “beautiful” comment before she has a chance to ask the question and avoid being subject to prerogative #1 for the rest of the evening.

3. MOVING THINGS:
It is a woman’s prerogative to change the placement of certain items that the man has set down. She must do this because the man puts said items in the wrong spot, usually in the woman’s way. This may cause some momentary confusion for the man but will be straightened out as soon as he stops searching high and low and chooses to ask the woman where it is. The woman will happily find the item for him or tell him where to find it, provided she is not exercising prerogative #1.

4. CLANGING:
It is the woman’s prerogative to display her anger to the man in a non-verbal fashion. Often this is done by “clanging” pots and pans in the sink or by noisily slamming various items. This is also a signal to the man to read her mind and apologise or to find some other way to make peace with her for whatever he has done (real or imagined) to make her angry.

5. SHOPPING:
It is the woman’s prerogative to engage in “retail therapy” whenever she sees fit or when her favorite shopping outlet is having a good sale. Even though she should not have to justify this habit, she will likely and very logically excuse herself with the explanation that making a purchase of sale items, actually saves money (even though she would never have bought those items anyway), and that more stuff bought on sale (useless or not) means more savings. This often will cause a “feedback loop effect” on the male brain, the symptoms of which are: rolling of the eyes, and muttering to himself. The effects wear off fairly quickly and will usually not cause any lasting damage.

6. GOOD TIME:
It is the woman’s prerogative to have a good time when out with the man, but also to put a stop to the man’s good time if he is having more fun than she is. If she is having a really good time then, chances are, he is not. In this case, it is likely he has arrived too late (refer to prerogative #2) and is displeased about having to “catch up”.

7. MOTIVATION:
It is the prerogative to verbally motivate the man when things need doing around the house and he has either misplaced his list or has forgotten to do something that she has asked him to do over and over and over…

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