Let Them Eat Cake
posted October 6, 2009 - 8:45pmSummary: A true account based on the author’s personal experience describing an interview for an entry level college graduate job. In my introductions, “A Wagon-Load of Job Hunting Advice, and Career Advice” I wrote that I would “approach it (job hunting) with a
little humor, and I would help you find the humor in your own adventure by sharing my personal interview foibles that would make you laugh, and hopefully put a little less levity into your own situation.” This tale is to let those recent college graduates that are experiencing the worst job market since The Great Depression know that others have been through these hardships also. It was during the 1980’s when the recent college grad labor market was also not so hot. So bear with me once again as I digress from my series on formatting and writing a resume, while I enter the “Xomba Dream Job Contest” describing my adventures on my journey to find my dream job of combining my business acumen with my writing abilities. This true story took 3rd place in the Arizona Authors' Association 2001 Literary Contest, and was first published in the 2001 Arizona Literary Magazine. I hope you enjoy it...
From www.wikipedio.orgAs I sat in the lobby waiting endlessly for a job interview, I wished my life was like a book, where you could flip to the last page, to see how it ends, then read the rest of the book, from start to finish.
According to the college magazine articles I had read on how to land a job, this interview was highly unusual. I was applying for a job as an analyst with a marketing research firm. A recent graduate from the College of Business, I believed that writing marketing reports would combine my newfound business acumen, with my love for writing.
The firm’s owner, a matronly woman, and her toy pet poodle, Fluffy, greeted me. Yes, Fluffy was a "real" dog, which barked, and everything.
Fluffy never missed a day of work, was good with clients, and I was asked if my record was as good as Fluffy's.
During the interview, Fluffy sat smack dab in the middle of the small room, lodged right between the lady owner and myself. He would not budge for love, nor money.
Here I was, smartly groomed in my new navy blue business suit, on the edge of my seat, trying to look interested, as all of the job-hunting articles said I should. Meanwhile, teetering on the edge of my seat, I was trying to impress both the matronly owner and the dog.
Every time I moved, the little black fluff ball growled at me.
I pictured this dog greeting clients and tried not to laugh.
I searched my mind for any information gleaned through articles on how to make friends with a toy poodle, and came up empty. I had been reading, "Job Hunting Made Easy," not "Pet Training Made Easy."
The owner considered the dog an employee. Did he get workman's comp.? Better yet, what would the health department say? Fluffy was allowed in the eating area, slobbering up cake crumbs off the laboratory kitchen’s floor. The analyst job entailed baking cakes, eating the results, and writing the marketing research study report. My cakes always fall. Flatter than a doggy biscuit.
The owner and her secretary, the only two humans working there, seemed at ease with a dog at work. Unbelievable!
Needless to say, Fluffy, official floor cake crumb eater extraordinaire, saw me as a threat to his position with the firm and hated me. Fluffy knew I lied when I said I loved animals. How would I explain this to family and friends? This business major failed to sell herself, again. Nobody would believe this "dog gone" story.
Somehow, this sugar cake job just didn’t live up to my college-fed expectations; nor did it live up to my newly acquired Dean’s List reputation.
A year after graduation I found that my employment package contained no job, a truck full of stupid job interview “Let Them Eat Cake” questions, and one insipid interview with a fluffy dog. My fellow Business School graduates, of course, all had fat well-fed wallet careers, complete with sign-on bonuses. This produced desperation.
The last page of my book, however, had yet to be written.
I eventually learned to answer stupid job interview questions with perseverance, patience, and assertiveness. I also learned not to answer with flippancy. But, most importantly, I learned never lie to a fluffy dog. Bring doggy treats. Hide them in your briefcase.
The last page? My last job, as a Technical Training Writer finally earned me a living as a writer, a job that finally combined my business sense with my writing abilities. Now, as a “downsized” unemployed Technical Training Writer, my next job will be turning anecdotes into personal true stories, then selling them, as any Business Saleswoman Extraordinaire would. The proof is not in impressing a fluffy, black dog, a dog that eats cake.
A famous matron, once said, “Let them eat cake.” The proof is not in the cake. “The proof is in the pudding.” If you are reading this true story, it means that I have sold it.
At my next job, the sign will read, “No pets allowed.”
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Comments
fluffy's present position
Well told!
Do you know if Fluffy is still working there? wink
L Wagen ..funny story
Carry doggie treats! Good tip. Love the humor in the tale. Thank you for sharing.
B School
Business School - to do a MBA.
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What is B school?
I am not familiar with B school? What is it? What we call junior high or middle school?
Nice funny story!
I remember going to an interview at 2 am in the morning and being asked with some seriousness whether I would consider taking an Architect's job. It wud hv been grt but for the fact i was at B-School. It was quite funny and I am sure the time of the interview had smthng to do with it!
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Yes, Darrell We all learn the hard way.
Yes, Darrell you should have know, but we all learn the hard way! Trust your instincts while interviewing. All jobs are not meant to be.
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Cussing
I actually had a boss/interviewer/owner cuss at me during an interview like he was Ari Gold. Exact quote:
"Why would you want to work for a *bleeping* *bleep*hole like me?"
I answered something about working with people, being a leader and being closer to my family - it worked - I got the job.
Got fired a year later when I took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as my regular days off as I emailed him three months earlier and he approved. Then he tried to deny my unemployment. Should've known.
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