14
votes

A Life Spent In Transit

posted February 28, 2009 - 12:04am
A Life Spent In Transit

Can you believe it? I have spent my entire life in transit. Yes, I really don't know how many houses I must have shifted in and out of by now. How's that, you ask?

My father served in the Indian Navy and so since the time I was born and can remember, we have been moving houses many times. His transfers would force us to move places and everywhere we went we had to change houses at least two or three times. Since we were just kids, it really didn't bother us much at that time. In fact, we felt excited at the prospect of a change. Yes, a new place, new house, new surroundings, new school, new friends was all very thrilling and we took everything in our stride and adjusted very well to whatever situation we were put in.

My father continued his services for the full tenure till retirement age and even took two years of extension so that we could all get admissions into colleges. He then retired and my parents then moved into a house that he had built for themselves. In the meantime, I got admission into a college in Goa and moved into the hostel as my father had just got his last transfer to Mumbai.

I spent four years in the hostel and then came back home to try and get a job. I stayed with my parents for 3 years while doing my residency before I got married and moved to Mumbai where my husband was posted. My husband is also an officer in the Indian Navy and so my life stayed just the same. It was the same things all over again...transfers (pretty much to the same places) and shifting houses (same houses that I had spent my childhood in) mostly, except for a few new places where I had never been before.

While life has been interesting on the move and I have managed to see many new places in India, there are certain things that I crave for now as I am growing older. The feeling of "stability" in life is not there. I never feel "at home" anywhere. Even when I go to our own house for a vacation, I've never had that feeling that I am "home"! I am craving to have a "house" that I can call my own and feel "at home". I am now desperately looking forward to "settling" down in one place where I can open all my stuff from the boxes and not have to pack them ever again. I feel the need to "belong" somewhere.

I no longer want to move anywhere. I want to stay in one place and have familiar faces around me that I can see everyday around me, in my neighborhood. Staying in one place for a long time has its own advantages, like building contacts and becoming a familiar face for your shopkeeper, bank manager, milkman, etc...I have started envying all those people who have a stable life and a stable job.

My husband having now completed pensionable years of service has decided to take voluntary retirement. But, my worries are not over as yet. There is a recession going on at present and the corporate job sector looks bleak. Will that mean getting out of this service only to join another "Government" job? The feelings of being "unsettled" are only becoming stronger with each passing day. Where will we go? Will he get a suitable job? Where will we stay? Will we have a house of our own?

So many questions and no answers in sight...

I just wish I could "settle" down quickly and be able to feel "stable and secure" and also feel "at home" most of all!

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Comments

Thanks Mythman

Yeah you are right, recession or not, life will go on and there will still be jobs I am sure...! Get money writing articles on Xomba Here

Ignore the Recession, & It'll Go Away

Don't even waste time 'wishing that were true,' just Do It! "Recession" is a history-word; It's true that we ARE 'making history every day,' but it's NEVER "history" as long as we're still in it. Therefore your 'recession' is that scary monster that's always lurking in every dark place ... BOO! hee-hee-hee ... ---Joining Xomba FREE Helps Writers A LOT, but Google signs the checks for our writing about Buddhist Chant, Dr. Hot4Words, Happy Bounties~

---when You Join Xomba, you can join this- and MythMan's other-hot discussions!

That makes sense

Her energy and my energy are intermingled, so anything she feels I will also feel. CLICK HERE TO JOIN XOMBA TODAY!

I am sure you're getting it from your wife

Jim, I keep asking this same question of my husband, who is BTW also from a military background all his life and has been wandering since childhood too, but he doesn't seem to be feeling the same kind of restlessness that I feel now. I am pretty sure that he could continue to shift places in the future and not feel the urge to "settle" permanently in one place. He would only see that he gets his "basic needs and requirements" fulfilled ( internet, TV and some entertainment avenue outdoors)and he is set. Get money writing articles on Xomba Here

IMHO for men it has to do with establishing order

From my own experience as a stay-at-home dad, I think it has to do more with establishing order out of the chaos that is moving around constantly, which is something that marked many stages of my life including the ten I spent in the Navy. Taking care of the house as I do, I want to make sure that everything has a place and is kept clean which, as you know, is a challenge with kids. As for the nesting, I do feel it sometimes, but I wonder if it is something that originates with me or if I'm feeling it vicariously from my wife. CLICK HERE TO JOIN XOMBA TODAY!

Home is where my mind is???

@ Rychard..Easily said than done, I think. Now, If only I knew where my mind is? Sometimes, I think it is easier for "men" to be more relaxed and not bothered about this continuous "wanderings" as they may not feel the same kind of "nesting" urges that "women" tend to have. Specially more so after getting married it is normal for every girl to feel the urge to settle down in one place and prepare her "nest" so to speak, where she can have her babies. Do men have these urges??? Do correct me if I am wrong. Thanks for your comment. Get money writing articles on Xomba Here

"Wherever I leave my hat..."

"Wherever I leave my hat..." Looks like we have a lot of wanderers here. I'm actually doing another little move tomorrow so we'll have a town house and a country house. Hopefully my internet connection won't be so crap either! I don't have anything I feel as a fatherland or motherland - too many ingredients in the cauldron. Moving needn't be so stressful either as gives one a chance to see how little one really needs. If it isn't beautiful or useful, then sell it or gift it. Home is where my mind is... which could be outer space for all I know! Join Xomba Here

You are welcome

mamamia, and thanks for your comment. Mumbai has changed a lot and I really don't think it is for the better. Life gets more and more stressful in this city of "dreams" and "hopes"! We were much better off in smaller cities and could save more money too since there wasn't much to spend it on there. That's how we managed to buy our flat. Get money writing articles on Xomba Here

I know

exactly where you are coming from! After 10 odd moves in the last 12 years I have to. But I guess the phase of insecurity also relates to Mumbai and the phase its going through. Life's pretty tough there compared to smaller cities. However I dont think jobs (or lack of them) should be a worry with such talent and experience on your side! Maybe Obama's "wonder budget" will better the situation (or worsen it!) Thanks for helping me with the feeds! At XOMBA, Write & Make Money! My profile Buy Video Games Online

Something is better than nothing.

We have already bought a small two bedroom flat and have put it up for rent, as we have no intentions of settling down in that place. (Goa) No job opportunities there for my husband. Though, the flat is really good and looks cozy and is situated in a good locality (near defence colony). That was just an "investment" on our part so that we could have a "roof" over our heads in case of an emergency of any kind. (my security)! So, God has been kind. At least I do own a flat and it does have a "shower" that works with 24hrs water and heating arrangement. (I had made sure of that). Though the bathrooms are not "big"! And NO TUB! Get money writing articles on Xomba Here

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