Dear blogger, I find your story very interesting and similar to the way of life I use to live. I hope that my contacting you in reply to your blog shows you that you are not alone out here in this great big old world. I too use to do the same thing you have done, when ever I needed a fix, or had the shakes. The only difference between you, and I, is that I have not faced that much jail time since 1988 (I was looking at 15 years for Grand Larceny). I have been to rehab 10 or 11 times. And, some meetings just make me want to get high, while there have been some lately that I use to go to that revives my spirit. What I learned or heard in them meetings usually keep me sober for two to three months; But, it is recommended that you attend a meeting everyday. I was going to one every Friday until my ride broke down. Then I relapsed two months later. Since then I have been praying to God and making promises and going cold turkey. I am proud to say that I have been sober in five days. Not much but a miracle for a stone cold crack head like me with a $2000 a month habit. Last but not least, think about your life, your loved ones, and the possiblities of getting yourself hurt real bad, or killed. Another thing is too not want to be a junky, at least for the rest of your life. Do you want to be a drug addict for the rest of your life? Is that how you want to die? I know I don't. God loves you, and Jesus does too. Believe that. Pray. Ask for his forgiveness and accept him into your life. Take it slow. Don't beat yourself up if you relapse, give it shot after shot after shot until you beat this thing. http://www.xomba.com/xombyte/YoungManInc http://www.xomba.com/referral/777781cf Mr. R.L. Mitchell Jr.-aka-YoungManInc