On October 3rd, the day of the Dragon Boat festival, I feel like I lived a dream I’ve had for as long as I could remember. For the first time, I experienced things I’ve always imagined, things I’ve wished for. I was able to live freely for the first time ever, without fear or anxiety controlling me. I was able to talk with friends and have them feel comfortable with me. They didn’t treat me like I was scary or weak. They teased and laughed with me. I never thought that would’ve been possible. I always thought I was too strange and weird, too scary and broken. I thought I wasn’t worth looking at or hanging out with. I thought I wouldn’t have been able to keep up in conversation and fun. Yet, that day existed. It happened. It’s so hard to believe. I almost want to cry. It really happened. I was happy. I was free. I didn’t worry about being too depressing or scaring people. I didn’t worry about responsibilities that didn’t need my immediate attention. I didn’t worry about making a fool of myself and seeming weak. For once, I didn’t think of the past or future. I was able to laugh with those who are kind. I was able to connect with those who knew me when I broke and with new people that never knew my situation. I was able to do things without fear of messing up. I was able to help without being afraid of doing it wrong. I was able to run without fear of looking slow and weak. I was able to dance without fear of looking stupid. I did a lot of things that day that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to do. That was the happiest day of my life. I feel like just from that day, I’ve been spoiled enough. I feel like I can die peacefully and happy now. For the first time, I felt like I was truly free. I feel like that no matter how bad my life can become, it’ll be ok. Just that one day was enough for me. That one day I was able to truly live away from my past and my fears. I never thought I’d reach that day but there is so much proof that I did, I have. That was me. I was not tricked into it. That was truly me. I’m so happy. I feel like I can truly die happy now. I feel like I’ve accomplished so many dreams the past few weeks that it’s already enough. I already feel spoiled enough. It’s already enough. I’m satisfied with life.

Now, I feel like I can take anything in life. That pain and that happiness are unfeasible. I feel like it doesn’t matter what happens now, I’ll be able to take it. I feel like it’s ok now. No matter what happens, it’s ok. I’ve had my freedom and my suffering so it’s ok. That one day was enough.