NOTE: This is my first ever film review, written for the purpose of my school newsletter, so the quality of the writing pales in comparison to my present writing skills. Better-quality reviews are on the way, I assure you.

Superman is an icon. A symbol of hope. The embodiment of truth, justice and the American way (whatever that is). Rocketed to Earth as the sole survivor of a dead planet, he has become almost the mythology of America (Greece and Ireland stole all of the good stuff, in case you were wondering). Yet, surprisingly, up until the 1970s, he had never really had a definitive outing on the big screen. There were hokey theatrical serials in the 1940s starring Kirk Alyn, and a bizarre pilot for the 1950s TV series starring George Reeves, Superman and the Mole Men, but other than that, the Man of Tomorrow was stuck in yesterday’s cinemas.
This all changed in the mid-70s, when Russian-Mexican film producer Ilya Salkind said to his father Alexander, also a movie producer, “Hey, let’s do Superman.”

The plan was to film two blockbusters simultaneously, as they had previously done with The Three and Four Musketeers. After hiring director Richard Donner, known at the time for The Omen and the perfect Man of Steel in unknown actor Christopher Reeve, not to mention big names such as Gene Hackman and the Godfather himself, Marlon Brando, as benevolent baddie Lex Luthor and Superman’s father Jor-El, respectively, filming commenced, but as the production went over time and behind schedule, resulting in the first film having its release date pushed back, somebody said, “What if the first film sucks and nobody wants another one?” So, the production team focused their efforts on the first part of the story. After Superman: The Movie was released to box-office gold and lauding by critics and fans, everyone was clamouring for a sequel. Fortunately, there was already two-thirds of one in storage.

However, due to arguments between the Salkinds and director Richard Donner, Donner was fired and replaced with English cult director Richard Lester.

While Donner treated Superman with seriousness and respect for the character, what Lester believed to be taking over was “just a comic book movie.”

And it shows. Lester added slapstick and toilet humor, and soiled (aha ha ha) Donner’s original work by removing huge chunks of what had already been done and replacing the footage with plot hole-causing and silly scenes.

Due to the fact that apparently Marlon Brando wasn’t wealthy enough already, having taken home around $3 million for eleven day’s work (this is 1978, remember), all of his footage that he had shot for Superman II was replaced with Superman’s mother, Lara, played by Susannah York.

All of this resulted in a film that, while serviceable enough, paled in comparison to the first film.

In 2006, after endless online petitions and fan outcries, Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut was released on DVD, re-incorporating all of the footage that Donner had shot over 25 years previously, including Marlon Brando as Superman’s father Jor-El (obviously he couldn’t ask for any money, since he was dead at the time) and deleting almost all of Lester’s footage, and tying the film’s plot and events closer to that of the first film, returning Superman II to grace and what it was meant to be in the first place: the second part of a two-part story, and fans around the world rejoiced and deemed this version the definitive Superman II and dumping their DVDs of Lester’s cut into a huge bonfire (well, not really).

Oh, right, the summary. After saving the world from Lex Luthor’s simply fiendish evil plot, three Kryptonian super villians are freed from the eternal confines of the Phantom Zone (into which they were cast by Jor-El at the beginning of the first film) inadvertently by Superman during a really stupid Lester-directed sequence (much improved in the Donner Cut, may I add). The terrible trio, consisting of the deadly woman Ursa (Sarah Douglas), the silent, brutish and big-in-stature-but-small-on-brainpower Non (Jack O’Halloran) and cold, calculating head honcho General Zod (excellently portrayed by Terence Stamp), who seems to like saying “Kneel before ZOD!” to Superman a lot, land on Earth seeking revenge on Jor-El’s son from being imprisoned by his father (and also just because they’re bad to bone). So, how do three mighty bad guys go around getting Superman’s attention? Why, beat Texan yuppies at arm wrestling and taking over the White House, of course! Unfortunately, though, Superman has erased his powers to live a normal life with Lois Lane (Margot Kidder). Darn, way to time it, Supie (to be honest, though, if I were a superhero I think I’d also get tired of saving everyone every single day). So, once he’s been beaten up by a redneck trucker in a bar and seen the destruction caused by the baddies (who have now teamed up with Lex Luthor), Clark Kent decides to walk (even though he had a car handy) to his place of solace way up north, the Fortress of Solitude to get back his powers somehow. Wow, that was quick. He’s only been normal for ten minutes, at least give it a chance! He eventually arrives without dying of hypothermia, exhaustion or a nasty cold and finds a glowing green crystal (which was sent with him in his space pod in the first film as a record of his father’s (and apparently his mother’s) existence).

Next thing we know, were at the Daily Planet newspaper building in Metropolis (where a disguised Clark Kent works, fancy that) and Superman suddenly appears at the window and challenges the General and his cronies (“Come and kneel before ZOD!”). No, don’t tell us how he got his powers back, just hope nobody notices plot holes (this is rectified very powerfully in the Donner Cut). So, after a good old-fashioned slugfest on the streets of Metropolis, the villains kidnap Lois and take her, along with Luthor, to the Fortress of Solitude (but not before Lester has a chance to throw in some stupid and out-of-place slapstick for no apparent reason).

Back at the ol’ Fortress, yet another fight takes place while Lois is being held captive. Superman eventually managed to defeat Zod, but the other to threaten to kill Lois (dun, dun, DUUUUNNN), so the Man of Steel agrees to let Zod go. Since the three villains had intended to kill Luthor (who originally thought he would be getting a slice of the world), Superman confides in him that if he can get them into the super powers-removing chamber, they will be removed of their super powers. But, of course, Luthor grasses to the bad guys, and Superman is forced into the chamber, and he finally KNEELS BEFORE ZOD, the world doomed and its greatest protector powerless.

THE END.

Nah, just kidding, Superman reversed the super power-removing energy thingy somehow, so he was safe in the chamber while the villains were exposed to the super powers-removing stuff. So, Superman and Lois quickly get rid of the three powerless Kryptonian criminals (did they really need to toss them into the depths of the Fortess? I mean, c’mon, they’re as harmless as pussycats now!). So, Clark returns to work at the Daily Planet and gives Lois a hypnotising magic kiss to make her forget that he is Superman (huh?) despite her promising that his secret was safe with her (thankfully, in the Donner Cut, there is no “Lester magic kiss”). This ending left a bad taste in my mouth as all of the character development of the last two hours was thrown away like smelly dog business and reverted back to the way things were at the star of the film. And what happened to Lex Luthor? Was he left to freeze to death in the Fortress or something?

A lot of loose ends weren’t tied up and what character development there was was erased. I also didn’t care for how Lois discovered Clark Kent’s dual identity (again, much improved in the Richard Donner cut), and I wish the Salkind and Warner Brothers had just ponied up the cash to have Marlon Brando appear, but at the end of the day, despite my complaints, it’s a serviceable, fun film that should keep keep you entertained for its duration.