The long-awaited return of the show “Lost” happened this week. After a season ending that just left more questions than it answered there was a lot of hope that maybe the season would start out with a bang. Rumors abounded that this season was going to start off running and that this season would be full of more action. Well, after seeing the first episode of this season I can only say…huh?

Not long ago I wrote about one of the craziest show on television. Well, I can now, without a doubt, declare “Lost” the most infuriating show on television. This show is so infuriating and yet it is still so compulsively watchable that I just can’t make myself stop.

So, when we last left our castaways several key characters had been taken hostage by the “Others.” Well this season opens with people apparently attending a book club in some suburb somewhere. It seems like an earthquake hits. They all run outside and it looks like a suburb. Suddenly you see several people that have previously been identified as Others. They all look up and see the plane coming apart in the sky which, of course, was the incident that started the whole series.

So, these Others are not the barefoot primitives that we thought they were. No these are people who apparently live in houses just like everyone else. Are they good or are they bad? They sure don’t act nice but then they all seem to lie so you can’t be sure.

We find Jack chained to something and hidden behind glass. We meet a woman named Juliet who appears to be one of the Others but she also appears to be nice. She comes bearing sandwiches. She also seems to know way too much about Jack. She also just seems too nice.

Meanwhile Sawyer is trapped in a zoo. There’s another guy in cage right across from him who manages to sneak out and then ends up captured again. Sawyer figures out a way to get some kind of disgusting looking fish-tasting pellet. None of this makes any sense.

As all of this is happening Kate is having breakfast. She is having breakfast with a guy who seems to be the leader of the Others and we have come to know as Henry Gale. Of course we also know that Henry Gale isn’t really his name. He tells Kate that things will be very unpleasant for the next couple of weeks and then she ends up locked in a zoo cage eating a fish pellet.

Of course none of this makes any sense. Nothing about this show makes any sense. This show is nothing but flashbacks and then sudden outbursts of plot that seem to come out of left field. The thing that is completely infuriating is that the writers all walk around and act like the whole show is so meticulously planned out and yet when you watch it the whole thing seems made up as it went along.

So, what happened to the traitorous Michael? Did he actually get off the island with his son, Walt? Who knows. Other than showing up in a review of last season he wasn’t anywhere to be found. What about Sayid and his sailboat? Doesn’t show up in the first episode at all. Is Locke, Ecko and Desmond dead with the explosion of the hatch or are they still alive? Well, previews for the upcoming season seem to show Locke running through the jungle so my guess is he’s still alive.

So, Jack finally breaks down after a daring escape attempt that does nothing but get everyone soaking wet. Juliet reveals she has a dossier on Jack that somehow has every detail about his life. No explanation is given on how she got this or why she would have gotten this information.

Never in my life have I seen a television show that seems to so eagerly travel in a giant circle. Over and over gain this show reveals things only to come up with more infuriating questions that just leave you scratching your head.

I once said that “Lost” was heading for a big disappointment. I still feel this may be the case. What could possibly be the actual reason behind everything that his happening? Could is possibly as exciting as the show seems to be building it up to be? How could it? Why do I have this horrible feeling that this whole show is just happening in the imaginations of an autistic kid who is staring at a snow globe. If you actually get that reference then you, like me, spend way too much time watching television.

Of course I will be there again next week. There’s no doubt in my mind I will be watching this infuriating show until the very end. Dear God this show had better not get canceled before they reveal the ending to this labyrinthine plot. At this point I am ready to take Neilsen families hostage and make them watch this show just so it stays on the air. Hey, there’s a plot device for you screenwriters out there. Just send me a percentage.

Anyway, I am completely hooked on this show. I know others are. There are a few shows that make an hour fly by faster than a minute. The Sopranos is one. Deadwood is another. 24 is another one that flies by so fast it’s over before you realize it’s started. Lost is now the one that flies past faster than any of the others. When the debut was on I found myself glancing at the clock the beginning and then glancing back at the clock a minute later to find out that the show was almost over.

There has never been a show where I wanted to shout my objections that it was ending and demanding that the network immediately show the next episode. That’s what I wanted to do after the first episode this season and that’s what I’ll probably be doing the following week and the week after that.

There has to be a cure for this. This is like some form of crack or something, right? Maybe they are sending out hypno-rays. I resisted the temptation of watching this show for so long and now, dammit, I can’t stop myself.

I just need to know what the deal was with that statue thing from the last show of last season.

Bryan W. Alaspa’s new novel Dust is now available at his website www.bryanalaspa.com and www.amazon.com.