I come from a modern middle class family where a mother in law is indeed a very important person for the daughter-in-law’s family i.e. for my family!!
I am an engineer and MBA from an elite institute and also pursuing another PG course along side my job. This introduction is not to boast about my qualification but just to give you a fair about myself so that you can relate to the story I am going to tell following this.
I married my love, who was my batchmate in engg. He is the best husband I could have ever dreamt of, and ya he is also the best son a mother can have. I started my association with his mom at a very good note. Gradually (before the marriage) our friendship grew like any other mother-daughter duo. Then came the marriage.
My mom used to tell me that once those “saat feras” get completed, something happens in the minds of the newly formed MILs and they behave as they are expected to behave and not like your mom…but I used simply refuse that no way can my MIL behave that way ever…
I ignored my mom’s experience…never mind. Reality hits you sooner than you can imagine..
I am not bitching about her, am just trying to convey a point here that one should not ignore mom’s advices and also one should never live in a dream world.
Things went quite well for 6-7 months of the marriage and then the cupid between me n MIL broke somewhere. Mind you MIL is a pure Punjabi, she follows all the possible rituals in the world that can be good for her sons and expects the same from me too…dunno if she expects anything from her elder DIL. Being a non-Punjabi doesn’t bother me much, coz I am in any case a non-believer of sorts in God and the typical fear that one has for God is not in me….I think I love God and he will never do me a harm even if I do something wrong in following a ritual like keeping a fast…

Let me come to the point, 3 months prior to Karvachauth, I was told by MIL to keep it for sure and that she will wake me up at 4 o’clock in the morning for all the Puja n all. She kept her words and kept calling me at 4 o ’clock till the time the phone was picked up by Darling Husband. He who told her that I was wide awake and did whatever she asked me to do. I sincerely kept the fast for my husband the whole day—though the desperation in her attitude gave a feeling that it was for her. As the destiny would have it, I couldn’t be awake when the main pooja had to be done. And when this fell on her ears, all hell broke lose and she flatly said I have not kept the fast and she banged the phone on me.

Well that was it and I have decided not to keep any fast and slow for my MIL. Whatever I do from now on will be only for me n my hubby. I don’t think I need to tell her I kept a fast or whatever. Well, some may argue that she is a mother and I should do whatever she says; but end of the day I think I am a human being with full rights on my actions.
I come from some other background where KarvaChauth was not a routine thing and it’s difficult to accept it, especially when it’s been forced on me.
God, can you believe I am a triple degree holder with a husband who is equally educated with a mom in law who is working for last 20 years….and still she lives in a world where only miracles can save her kids from all the mishaps of life???????

I am dreadful of the thought of meeting her again…but I know I can’t run away from it. I have to live with this for the whole life. I love my husband and I understand he can’t be all against his mom for such things. Thankfully he has agreed to talk to her about it and will surely sort this problem. I hope she doesn’t pop up with new problems every now n then…
I can see a new one already…my kid and her grandchild!!! She is already so excited when I have not even conceived…God knows what will happen when the child actually comes alive in this world…I can already hear ppl telling me you are lucky she will love your kid like her own…well, that’s what I don’t want darlings! I want her to remain a Grand parent and me a parent…I am dying to be a parent and take care of my lil one asap…I have even planned to take an off for an year or so. Let’s see what the destiny at that point of time is…I wish I am in some other world when it happens…or she is not with me…whatever…
I have finally started hating my MIL…that’s so bad…

God forgive me…and my role of a DIL! People…just pray for me n for women in similar situations? May God Bless You!