Having run the gamut about the timeless conflict between men and women, the time seems ripe for some humor on the subject. All of these quotes are often repeated but some have no one to credit them to. Nevertheless, they are all appropriate.

MEN

Life isn� t fair to men. When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance and winters in Florida. What do women want to be liberated from?

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife’s clothes.
Thomas R. Dewar

Every once in a while nature stops experimenting and creates a man.

A man asked a female clerk in a book store, “Have you a book entitled Man, Master of the Home?” She looked at him and said, “Look in the fiction department.”

Don’t accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
Robin Morgan
It’s easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows along like a song.
But the man is worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile
When everything goes wrong.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

WOMEN

Women will remain the weaker sex just as long as they’re smarter.
Alice K. Dorman
Some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never manage to make good wives.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Women’s styles may change but their designs remain the same.

We won’t marry the boy with a camel,
Nor even the one with two donkeys.
We’re going to marry the boy
Who comes to take us away in a Mercedes.
African Folk Song

One good husband is worth two wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.
Benjamin Franklin

You can never tell about a woman, and if you can you shouldn’t.
Henry Brooks Adams

So many beautiful women and so little time.
John Barrymore

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally with dealing with men.
Joseph Conrad

The great fault in women is their desire to be like men.
Joseph Marie de Maistre

I married beneath me, all women do.
Nancy Witcher Langhorne
Women are strange and incomprehensible – invented by Providence to keep the wit of men well sharpened by constant employment.
Arnold Bennett

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onassis

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Rudyard Kipling

The great question…which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”
Sigmund Freud

Women and elephants never forget an injury.
Hector Hugh Munro

Most women are not so young as they are painted.
Max Beerbohm

Men are irrelevant. Women are happy or unhappy, fulfilled or unfulfilled, and it ahs nothing to do with men,
Fay Weldon

A woman’s place is in the stove.
Grouch Marx

MARRIAGE

When Groucho Marx was interviewed near the end of his life, he was asked if would ever get married again. He answered, “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”