As expected, the funeral arrangements of Michael Jackson will be exceptional, fantastic, superlative, amazing, etcetera, etcetera. Indeed there simply won’t be sufficient adjectives to describe it. Like one of Michael Jackson’s concerts his funeral (should the star be given the funeral he envisaged) will be out of this world!

The Theme of Michael Jackson’s Funeral will be…

The theme of Michael Jackson’s (according to our close celebrity source) will be The Wizard of Oz!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

We cannot and will not divulge where the coffin will embark from. Apart from anything else that would reveal the name of our source but mainly, we have decided not to reveal it, to ensure the lands surrounding the embarkation venue does not become the camping ground of a veritable conglomeration of fans. Suffice it to say that the coffin will “follow the yellow brick road” and will be carried aloft by scores of Hollywood’s shortest celebrities, in relays of 50 metres each.

This was Thriller

To keep the mourners entertained along the route of the funeral will be “dressed” with 27 open air cabarets for them to see – depending on where they watch from. Suffice it to say that (like those in the cheap seats at Michael Jackson’s concerts) all in attendance – no matter where they are along the procession’s route – will feel part of the event and all will find it unforgettable.

This Press Release is the responsibility of Celebrity Death Band Wagon Productions

PS: Respect to Michael Jackson and thanks for the memories - including the 80 and 90s discos and taking my nephew to see Moonwalker. Wish I'd said that before you died and I'm so sorry you didn't see how much your public loved you.