Kelli Minsch, a single mother of a now 22-year-old daughter, knows the difficulties and also has experienced the joy of being a successful single mom.
Minsch had a 10-year relationship with her daughter's father, Tim*, but never married. Soon after Minsch informed her boyfriend she was carrying their child, he married someone else. However, for their daughter's sake, Minsch kept in touch with her former boyfriend.
Although Tim lived in Oregon and Minsch and their daughter lived in Arkansas, Tim did spend occasional time with his daughter. During the summers he would travel to Aarkansas to work. Tim also paid child support, unwillingly, when the Bureau of Child Support Enforcement garnished his wages. It was three years before Minsch received her first support check.
Minsch was forced to turn to the welfare system to help take care of herself and her daughter. "Being on welfare made me feel humiliated, but at the time it was what worked for us," Minsch said. "I needed the medical card for my daughter who was born with severe chronic asthma."
Minsch explained that having to use food stamps was particularly embarrassing. "I hated food stamps," Minsch stated. "Poeple would stare at the cash registers. I tried to shop when there were fewer people there."
Minsch remained on the welfare system for five years until a Department of Health and Human Services caseworker encouraged her to look at other options. The caseworker began to discuss the idea of attending college with Minsch. "He looked into what I could get financially to go to school. I qualified for money for fixing my car, gas money, grants and scholarships. I began to attend the local community college and within three years I had obtained my Associate of Arts Degree in Elementary Education."
Minsch was determined to pull herself off the welfare system even though she faced many obstacles. "I think the hardest thing was trying to stay focused on school, homework, working and dealing with a child who spent many nights in the Emergency Room. I would take my books and study at the hospital."
"Many times I felt as though I would never make it, especially when confronted with a professor who very obviously didn't like me and trying to struggle through my worst subject, math," she laughed.
"When I graduated, my daughter came to me and said she was the proudest kid in the world at that moment," Minsch said. "I think my daughter watching me complete my degree showed her the importance of goal setting and staying motivated."
Minsch believes that single parents support groups are very important because many house are becoming full of more and more non-traditional students. "We had a support group at college called 'Non-Trads'. We were older and had children and it was very helpful.
Minsch also feels that the Department of Health and Human Services should encourage welfare recipients to further their education and begin to wean themselves from the system. "I think welfare would benefit from having some program of support for people wanting to attend college and I also think more people would try to obtain their degree."
Minsch is now a teacher for the HeadStart Preschool Program, which she enjoys immensely. Her daughter is now on her own and has also graduated from college. "My daughter can stand on her own two feet without relying on anyone else," Minsch said proudly.
Minsch has turned her life around and has become the epitome of a successful single parent. Minsch credits her ability to accomplish her goals because someone believed in her. "I thank God for that caseworker," she said. "That one person changed the path of my life with just a little bit of encouragement."
*Not his real name