trickier than just a straight-up "10 Best" list... Some honourable mentions? sure... one or more of blacula / scream, blacula, scream / blackenstein / dr jekyll & sister hyde. i love blaxploitation & i love horror staples. a match made in heaven any one of these. & how 'bout the raven? or rather... "the raven"s. 1935's "the raven" is a little known karloff/lugosi vehicle. if it's possible for a 1935 movie to be a "sicko"... probably more gleefully ghoulish fun than anything the boys made in the 1930s... the better known "raven" is the 1963 gem with horror veterans vincent price, boris karloff, peter lorre & roger corman 60s staple jack nicholson camping their way through a tale of sorcery scripted by richard matheson.

good enough? then here... in alphebetical order... are my 10 best funny-scary movies. they aren't ALL funny or ALL scary ALL the time... but they have their moments.

1. abbott & costello meet frankenstein (dir: charles barton, 1948)
"scary movie" fans need scroll no further. you aren't gonna find that crap here. allow me to introduce you to the movie that introduced the idea of satirizing scary movie staples. granted, you need to be a big fan of bud & lou fully to appreciate this movie. & granted bela lugosi & lon chaney are getting a little long-in-the-tooth (hahahahahaha...) in their dracula/wolf man bits. but if you're willing to overlook a little old-timeyness, this is still more entertaining than... well, having never seen any of the scary movies, i suppose i don't know for sure. just playing a hunch here.

2. an american werewolf in london (dir: john landis, 1981)
landis' previous three titles... the kentucky fried movie, animal house & the blues brothers. between this movie & twilight zone (see below) he directed ackroyd & eddie murphy in trading places AND michael jackson's "thriller" video. he went on to direct such comic gems as three amigos, spies like us & oscar (now THERE'S a scary movie... it's just not funny). & out of everything he touched... this one stands out as his masterpiece. go on... i double dog DARE you to compare any other landis movie to the tale of david naughton's hairy problems (hahahahahaha... alright, then) & the wisecracking dessicating ghost of griffin dunne... & others. sick humour... genuine scares... a hot shower scene... what more could a horror-comedy POSSIBLY have to offer?

3. arsenic & old lace (dir: frank capra, 1944)
i'll TELL you what else a horror-comedy could possibly have to offer. cary grant, raymond massey, peter lorre... & two of the sweetest serial killers any nephew would be PROUD to call his own! probably the closest capra ever got to making a "horror" movie OR a "screwball" comedy, this movie combines the best of both. it just keeps getting funnier!

4. bride of the monster (dir: ed wood, 1955)
now, MOST people think "plan 9" when thinking ed wood. me? i live to watch bela lugosi thrashing around with some plastic tentacles & some stock octopus footage. sadly, tor johnson isn't given near as many lines as in p9fos, but there isn't the general creepiness of criswell... required viewing for anyone looking to convince themselves that ANYONE, no matter how devoid of... well, ALL the things of which ed wood was devoid, can become a legendary director.

5. evil dead 2: dead by dawn (dir: sam raimi, 1987
the movie that sparked the list. you can disagree (if you wish to go to panama), but for my money... the funniest man ever to appear in a horror movie is the great bruce campbell. groovy. & while he's great in army of darkness, say... or bubba ho-tep (DEAR GOD, see that movie if you haven't already!!!), watching his movie-long battle against himself makes evil dead 2 near the top of movies i like to make sure i watch at least once a month. & that's been going on for a great many months with no signs of slowing...

6. love at first bite (dir: stan dragoti, 1979)
your LOVE for this one will primarily be based on your ability to tolerate george hamilton. if you don't like him, you probably aren't gonna like this movie. but if you can put up with him on-screen, even a little, then this might well be the funniest horror spoof ever made. susan st james (pre-kate & allie) is there as the love interest... but the rest of the cast!! richard benjamin is a scream. artie shaw is transcendent. sherman helmsley & isobel sanford take a break from ruling the airwaves as the jeffersons to make guest spots that make no reference whatsoever to their hit show (i LOVE that!!)... there isn't an unfunny moment in this movie (there, i said it.).

7. the shining (dir: stanley kubrick, 1980)
see... initially i wasn't gonna include this movie, but that's only because shelley duvall isn't killed. she annoys me more than any other actress... she's in a movie where jack nicholson goes crazy & attacks his family with an axe... & they couldn't make the time to kill HER? scatman bites it & shelley duvall walks away scott free??? but i realized while i was trying to justify the inclusion of "silence of the lambs" that jack nicholson's landmark take on "on-screen crazy" laid the foundation for creepy guys who's crazy ramblings make the sickos among us giggle uncontrollably every time they say ANYTHING! silence of the lambs (a terrible movie that's been polished & polished), heathers (might have made the list if it was more... horror), 12 monkeys (the only time brad's quirky-crazy thing has ever worked for me)... they all started here.

8. slugs (dir: juan piquer simon, 1988)
a quick tip to the european horror movie tradition of the 1960s & 1970s. with the international success of gialle directors like mario bava & dario argento, horror fans looking for something "better" than the questionable horror tradition of hollywood in the 1950s & 60s turned overseas. a few years later, anime would lure most of them on to asia & japan... but those who stayed in spain & italy were in position to find this little nugget. sure, there was a slug movie that came out just recently. & sure... it's probably got better graphics... but this was actually nominated for a goya (the spanish oscar) for its special effects. & it's AWESOME!! if you like slugs, that is...

9. the thing with two heads (dir: lee frost, 1972)
now... why, if i love blaxploitation & horror, are blackenstein or blacula not on my list? because they aren't the thing with two heads. everything that makes blaxploitation great coupled with everything that makes for a truly liberating terrible movie. from the legendary blax. team of dir lee frost & writer wes bishop (later responsible for "black gestapo"), this featured nfl legend rosey grier helping former athletes like richard roundtree, jim brown & jim kelly break down the barrier b/w pro sports & movies & academy-award winner ray milland playing the role of "legendary hollywood actor clearly well past his expiry date" (see #4). oh god... OH GOD, do i LOVE this movie. not remotely a "scary" movie... but if the plot hook is good enough for a simpsons "treehouse of horror" episode... then that's good enough for me.

10. twilight zone -- the movie (dir: john landis, steven spielberg, joe dante, george miller, 1983)
ok... honest to god, this is just a coincidance. while putting this list together in my head... i got to thinking about scary & funny & all, & i suddenly heard dan aykroyd ask if i wanted to see something scary. & i jotted this movie down as a fall-back. but this one covers them all... dan aykroyd from ghostbusters... john lithgow as probably the only person who could revise a william shatner role & make us pine for shatner's naturalism & subtlety... four chapters like so many of the great british horror multi-horror-tale movies... & at the helm of those four chapters: the creators of american werewolf, poltergeist, gremlins & mad max. near any movie that could have been included on this list is represented by someone involved with THIS movie. AND... it may inspire a few of you to track down episodes of the classic tv show.

like that? & next week, mobiusclimber, i promise i'll leave horror movies to the experts. next week... my pick of 10 desert-island sci-fi.

one final note for those of you who still read books... detective story author l.a. morse has a two-volume series called "video trash & treasures" that serves as an in-depth look into terrible horror, fantasy & sci-fi movies of the 1980s. if that sounds good... it you're still reading to this point... keep an eye out for them.