My landlord has converted my residence into bed and breakfast accommodation – with me still in it, and to my advantage ($5 a day!!). But the breakfast bit presents me with a dilemma.

After five days of frenetic renovations to have the place shipshape for the first guests, we are nearly ready. The last fittings, so to speak, to arrive were the eats. I duly transported quantities of ham, salami, a variety of cheeses, yoghurt and fresh milk to my fridge. The dining room shelves are groaning with jams and fruit juices and cute little boxes of cereal. On the sideboard is an attractive little bowl filled with shiny little sachets: exotic teas, hot chocolate, cappuccino. There will be croissants every couple of days and fresh-baked white bread rolls.

Trouble is, I’m on a budget. No frills. No yoghurt. Cheddar cheese only. Milk powder and budget bread. Not even coffee (tea’s cheaper). I’m also a weak-willed would-be vegetarian, with an especial fondness for salami.

I managed to hide quite a lot of it in the bottom drawer of the fridge, but the quantities are such that some had to go in full view on the shelves. Every time I open the fridge I see little cheeses. The question is: how long am I going to resist temptation? Admittedly, there’ll be perfectly legitimate options for a bit of scavenging. My problem is going to be how not to scavenge before it becomes available.

It all has a slight flavour of rummaging in dustbins. I shall have to summon all my will power and remember that cured meats are full of chemicals and the cheeses – well, I have got cheddar. Actually, parmesan and mozzarella too. Not doing too badly then.