Dear Wendy,

Thought I'd drop you a line to share my weekend camping experience at a nearby lake in the amazing countryside of USA. I can't believe the differences here from back home in Aussie. I expected things to be pretty much the same, except people keep telling me I sound so cute with my accent. AY?

We took off Friday afternoon. Wow, campgrounds here are just spectacular! We bbq'd our tea, then sat & listened to the wild animals of the southern US evening. For your reference, 'somebody' refers to my darling husband. He said he'd rather remain nameless when I sent this back home to you, so I am sure you you won't recognize JOHN from this point on.

Anyway, 'somebody' thought it was humorous to inform me about the local black bear population after we got here, but did refrain from sharing the spider & snake stories as he knows this is bad for his health. After tea, I sat up till Lord knows what hour enjoying the thundering silence. The kids did what kids do best & poked the fire, while 'somebody' kicked back on a deck chair and snored like a shot Buffalo. Kids love campfires don't they? Ours burnt whatever wasn't bolted down and then I caught them eyeing the neighbors campsite for flammable materials.

The next morning we decided to venture into town to check out the natives. Of course we went to McDonald's for a healthy breakfast. Since 'somebody' is such a skilled campfire chef we thought this might be the safest alternative.... I don't think I've ever seen such a beautiful place as this. Morning mist hanging over the lake and the river where we went to eat our greasy bagel breakfast, trout fishermen wading knee deep looking to catch lunch, oh it's simply breathtaking. Cliche, but it was like looking into a postcard and all I could do not to erupt into glorious songs of descriptive joy. However, since this is not good fisher-person etiquette, I tried hard to keep the explosion to an internal dull roar. People carry guns here and who knows if these guys are even sober from last night's rockabilly.

We then went hiking in the forest along a glorious tropical looking trail where again, everything looks just like another Hallmark card. Of course 'somebody' had to let me know every time he saw things of a reptilian nature while I looked everywhere else but where he was, pretending I didn't hear a word. We only lost one child that day too, but after and extensive search by the remaining 3 of us, 4 back-packing Norwegian fisherman and a handful of locals, said child eventually found us.

Well, we survived and made it back to camp by noon . We swam for about 3 hours, and although 'some' of us swim like granite pavers we had a really fun time. We also got sexy glowing suntans which was rather a healthy improvement since it was apparent that 'somebody' was about to be apprehended by the water police for impersonating a safety beacon - darn, he's so white!

It was about that time we also came to the conclusion that our Olympic Freestyle Medal prospects were shot , but who cares? 'Somebody' even pioneered a whole new concept in water safety skills that day. Apparently if you get into difficulty when swimming alone , don't panic, instead, and I quote "just float right to the bottom and walk on outta there". Silly me, why didn't I think of that? We eventually climbed out of the lake looking like old wilted cranberries from some glorious underwater farm up north and headed for the dry comforts of home.

Next weekend 'somebody' says we're going out "yonder" to climb a small mountain. An oxymoron at best.

Looking back, I am briefly reminded of settling into my seat on American Airlines Flight 283 from Melbourne to L.A, and being told that in case of an "emergency landing" several thousand miles from land, and somewhere over the ocean between Hawaii and Mexico; that we would be shown the appropriate safety procedures. Wendy, these lovely American people mean well, but you know as well as I do that back home in Aussie we call that a bloody crash, mate!

Well, I'm signing off now. I'm cooking 'supper' tonight since 'somebody' has given me a crash course on cooking ham n' beans, and cornbread that isn't burnt beyond recognition.

Miss ya'

Kez x