A Romance

Beware - This love story doesnt have an end

The feelings aren't unique...the situations change...the people change...its not a really new story, but its my love story.

I loved someone when I was young...25 years back that is...again doesn't everyone? I wanted to marry her...I didnt...dont ask me why not! There was no drama, no hysterics with parents screaming and fainting and disowning (these do happen in our community!)

I didnt marry her...because I couldn't express my feelings!

We married separate people and lived happy lives ever after.

How does this ending go?

Do I stop my blog here... well no!

I forgot to mention that we lived happy lives at different places. Just a few months back i have come back to the town where it all started...she still lives t/here you know. I really thought it didnt matter (to be honest i didnt know what to expect) . I went and met her...rather we bumped into each other and she invited me to visit her at office...I went...I met up with a few other old friends there too ... and came back, all of us promising to keep in touch...
and its not been the same since...

I have become desperate, sad, angry, upset, despondent...and everything u can think of...why? I love my family...all of them including my wife. In fact i dont think i can live without her...She is just always...there. Still I have felt the need to scribble this blog. I feel like doing a lot of things...dying being the uppermost thought...no no i would never really take my life! I cant help wishing my life would end somehow...

I read in a love website (believe me I had never before dared to tread into such a thing before!!!), that love is a drug...You have to be rational to handle it...You let it go to your head, it will kill you...but I cant help feeling I would prefer to be killed...I dont know why!

Can you feel with me...see with me....hear me

Is this what it is being human?

Maybe nothing happens after this...I will just pretend this small interlude didnt happen...maybe again go back and be more human...to forget to feel...

And live in the same place knowing she stays here..all my life.

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