I am blogging this mainly to get it off of my chest. The other day Tara Banks had some guest on her show that revealed they were gay. Well that got me to thinking am I gay or not. I mean I have done homosexaul activities with the same sex more than once, a long time ago. Although I was the aggressor in the majority of my homosexual experiences, I did almost lose my virginity to another man when I was very young. He knew it wasn't right, so he didn't do it.
But, I can remember one young man made my baby sister, and I go down on him. I'll never forget that. It was my first time doing that, or anything with another male.

When I was in a foster home I use to do some homosexual activities with one of my foster families grandsons. We didn't know what we were doing, then. As time went on I left that kind of activity alone. I began to have romantic encounters with young women. The next time I had an encounter with a male I was 14, and staying in a boys group home. One night two guys in the group home had let some homosexuals in the house. They were having a good time as far as I could see. I didn't watch or participate. They just let the rest of us that didn't do anything know what went on.

One day I went to spend the weekend over one of the guys that stayed in the group home, aunts house. We had got drunk off of some cheap beer, and he left me there. I fell asleep, and thought I was dreaming of kissing some one, when I had to go use the bathroom. I woke up, and a hairy man was on top of me. I immediately called the group home to come get me, and they did. The young man whom aunt's house I went over to, got kicked out of the group home.

I had one more encounter with another man, but this was when I was married. This time I had went all of the way with a man, for some money, and a quick high. I really regretted it, and never told nobody until now. This happened around 1989. I have never done it again. But I have been wondering if that means I'm gay or not. I have asked God for forgiveness and I think that he has. As a matter of fact I know he has, because I didn't wear protection, and one day I had gotten a letter saying I was HIV positive. I told my wife. We cried, and prayed. After three more test, and regualrly check ups every year, our test came up negative.

I have been straight everysince. Does that mean I'm gay?

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