Once more the holidays are upon us. The hustle and bustle of finding each special gift for each special person. I love this time of the year. The lights that glisten, the music that is every place you go. The unity of families. Everyone is so busy and secrets are to be kept.

The most joy I get from the holidays is the surprise and happiness on everyone's face as they open their gifts and there lies what they asked for, or something from out of the blue they didn't expect. The looks on the little ones faces as they think Santa remembered their wishes.

When I was small we did not celebrate Christmas, it was pagan to my father. I can remember asking my sister Sandy (Sam) what is Christmas? All the kids at school were talking about it. She told me it was about a tree and presents.

Well not long after I asked her that question off we three trudged to the woods. She carried an ax and we searched for that perfect tree. Of course me and my little sister Brenda wasn't sure what was happening, but it was a grand adventure. We found a tree, not to big, but not many branches either. Sandy started to cut it down, it took awhile although the trunk was small. After she finally got the tree down we drug it to the house.

My sister was like our Mom when we were little she took care of us. She had found an old tree stand in the attic from who knows where and some old Christmas lights. We put the tree in the stand and then decorated it with all the lights. we cut things out of paper to hang on the tree, and Sam had found some old boxes and Christmas wrap. We bagan to wrap up all the empty boxes in that pretty paper and placed all of them under the tree.

Now in our house we heated with wood stoves and the tree was placed right beside the stove. We were so amazed by its beauty and what we had done. We were so proud that now we was going to have a Christmas, one my sister had made for us. We played all afternoon around that tree, and laughed and giggled and had so much spirit.

At around five o'clock it was time for me Dad to arrive home from work. We was so excited to show him our accomplishments on this day. When he got home he came in and we bounced around him showing him the tree. The tree did not last long, he grabbed it and began to yell at all of us because we had cut down one of his precious trees, and then put it right beside the stove. What are you three trying to do burn down the house? We don't celebrate this pagan holiday. There is no Santa, he kept yelling at us all the time destroying all of our work, which most of it he burned in the stove.

As we sat there dumb founded wondering what we had done so wrong as he beat us one by one with his belt. This was normal for him, never love showed only hate. He was such an angry man. Thoughts went through my head as I tried to block the pain from his belt hitting my skin of how could something so beautiful be so bad? This was my first Christmas, one that I will always and forever possess, one of love for what Sam had so desperately tried to accomplish, and she did!

I already celebrated Christmas with my son this year. He wont be home for the holidays because he will be in combat training in Mississippi. So in a weeks time I tried my best to make a special time for him and his new bride.

To be honest I didn't have a clue what to get him with the move and then going to the middle east soon, but I found the perfect gift. One that all of us in the states at home will get lots of use out of. I got him a laptop, so we can communicate with him while he is away. He wanted one of these after he finished Boot Camp, but with the expense of traveling to Chicago to see him graduate I could not afford that for him, so instead I gave him a digital camera.

Ethan is 25 years old and has never had a laptop. In fact growing up he had necessities not really things he wanted. I could not afford these kinds of gifts. Not only for him but for the rest of my children. We survived, but it was very hard. We never went hungry, but there were many times when there wasn't much to be found in our house.

Now in my older years and not having to support many people I can afford to buy quality and what they truly want, not just what they need. A couple years ago he said he wanted an electric acoustic guitar. He taught himself how to play and had a couple old guitars. My Mom used to play and that is where his interest sparked from. She gave him his first, one of hers. He cherished that guitar and strummed away until he figured out the cords.

Well I managed to give him that electric acoustic guitar he had asked for and when he opened that huge box on Christmas morning, he cried. Tears streamed down his face as he shook his head in amazement because finally after 23 years he got what he wanted.

The joy these things brought to him. The joy that covered him and the glow he emanated made me the happiest woman alive.

The true meaning of Christmas to me, is not about gifts, it is about love and caring and making those around you feel loved and cherished. The smells that come from Moms kitchen brings that warm fuzzy feeling to my heart. Her labors of love we carry with us forever. Memories...

I so wish that was a Santa Clause, one that could bring the wish I wish of world peace, happiness not war, Fullness not hunger, unity of everyone who lives on this planet. Kindness, and caring about that homeless guy on the corner holding a sign that says I am hungry feed me. How hard would it be for each and everyone of us to make someone around us that is less fortunate find that special feeling that we only get this time of the year.

With these words I challenge you all my friends, do something special this year, for someone you don't know, someone who sits and thinks this world is a horrible place for where they are in it. Bring a smile to their face, bring the feeling of hope to their hearts, help one soul on this wide world, make them feel special, and please let me know what you do.