Should I choose to accept it, and I do, is to become a wino. Specifically, a Pinot Grigio wino. The enlightenment that comes from a few glasses of this intoxicant is unlike any other. Everything becomes wodnerful and hopeful and full of posibilities. It's so sweet and crisp it's almost like being in the ocean. But dryer. Less seaweed. I am sophistication with my crystal wine glass perched in hand. No one knows it's a six dollar bottle of wine swimming inside.
I'm looking now for ways to smuggle a wine bottle into my dive bars. They're a little low on Pinot. My large leopard print purse might conceal a bottle...and I'll mysteriously reappear from the bathroom with a full wine glass in hand. Oh you don't serve win here? I must have slipped into the wrong bar, pardon me!