It was in October. I was traveling by train with friends. I was just 22. And had some serious emotional issues. I don’t really think it’s unique at that age! I was in the final stages of attaining my degree. We were group of 7 that were traveling. One of them was my off again on again Boyfriend. We were not traveling by AC (students hardly ever used the AC coach those days – especially when traveling in Groups). Rohan, my boyfriend, and I spent almost the entire day in the corridor near the door in heated discussions, talks, on where we were headed, where our relationship (if there was one) was headed. He was using his best negotiating skills and persuasive powers to bring me around to his way of thinking, which was, as a steady couple who could marry right after college. He was good. I was confused. I was not even sure if I loved him anymore. I was determined not to be rick-rolled by sweet talks. I just wanted to be left alone – to make my own way in the World. Kickstart my way into the system without the burden of a relationship, commitment. Relationships could come later. The talks were going nowhere. I was getting miserable and he was getting desperate. The problem seemed huge (as problems nearly always seemed at that age!)

It was then that I spied it.

It was nothing much. The carriage’s door was open. The sky and weather were perfect as is generally the case in India in October. I just saw a pond – a huge pond. A breathtakingly beautiful blue expanse of water with lots of lotuses and a few cranes on them. I sat down on the steps of the speeding train. The fields sped by me. Huge paddy fields, then mountains, then canals, lakes, rivers, more fields. I felt so small. My problems seemed so silly. What were we in the World’s, the Universe’, the greater scheme of things? Just about resembling flecks of dust. How could I, we, matter? A kind of peace came over me. In the fast moving train, sitting on the steps with the air rushing by, whipping my hair – I found a kind of peace and resolve.

Even now when I try to surmount a problem, I try to bring that feeling of smallness. The feeling of not mattering, in the greater scheme of things. I never succeed to that extent. Maybe, as we grow older, we feel the World belongs to us and should adapt to us – not the other way round.

There's no grammatical mistake in the title. "I" doesn't really matter that much.