Ugh.

My body is tired and sore from head to toe.

Day starts at 5:30am and ends when I can drag my weary body into bed, which is usually at 11:30pm.

Why? You ask why?

Let me tell you why....
Lifting children up, bending down to pick up toys, clothes, bottles. Feeding, changing diapers, cuddling, playing, rocking to sleep. This is my day job of being a daycare provider. Yes, I chose to do this, and I am alright with it. I love the children that I care for.
First one arrives at my home at 6:00am on the dot and last one leaves at 6:30pm. But, my day doesn't end there, because mingled in with my daycare, are MY children as well.
Granted two of mine are in school all day. That helps a lot.
So, after 6:30 pm...my "work" day doesn't end like other people who leave their jobs. Mine continues with cooking, cleaning up the house of all the toys, making sure homework is being done, have eaten dinner,then giving my children baths, and then finally bed by 9:00pm.
THEN, have to clean kitchen and prepare for my next day.

Yes, I do have a husband and he comes home from work at 4:30pm. But he is tired from work too, so he gets to lounge on couch and watch some sport thing on television and "relax".

Weekends isn't my time to "relax" either...ohhhh no. Saturday is my clean the house and do errands day and Sunday is doing laundry for five people day. And noooooo, husband can't help with that because he says that since I get to "SIT AT HOME" every day that it is MY JOB to keep the house clean and have laundry done. (Kids do their own rooms) Oh, I have tried just letting it sit there and not get done, hoping he would get the point, but it doesn't work. IT WILL still be there and then it starts to drive me crazy enough that I have to just do it.

I want a day off, a weekend off. I want to go have lunch or something with my friends. I need a massage. I want sleep. I want someone to clean my house from top to bottom for me. I want to walk along the shores of the ocean and just hear the surf. I want someone to pamper me! It's been 4 years since I had a day to myself, let along an entire weekend.

I want a vacation to find myself again. I seem to have lost my soul somewhere.

I wrote this at 5:15am, the only 15 minutes to myself that I ever have.