A new drug has been discovered at Manchester University. It will save the world! It is claimed to restore colour to white hair. How banal can research become?

As the most important breakthrough in history of science, this important news has to be broadcast to the world. Finally the most dangerous of all sicknesses is to be beaten. White hair will be only mentioned in history books to come. Isn’t that fantastic news? Haven’t we all awaited breathlessly this important breakthrough in science?

Please don’t ask me what they are paid for at Manchester University, but it is to be hoped that all funding after that flap will stop immediately and fully. If tax money is squandered in such ways, no wonder we’re in the dumps.

As an added plus, the drug will be hormone based. Who wouldn’t want to exchange his white hair for the joy of prolonged and hurtful Osteoporosis? It is just the perfect solution to all the troubles this world has known.

If you want to do something against white hair, it might be less hurtful to your health and indefinitely cheaper, if you stuck to basic good sense. White hair is linked to a surplus of copper in the blood, which is taken in with water. When we still had lead piping in the houses, the copper contained in water was mainly left in the pipes y adhering to the lead. It can’t do that anymore with plastic piping and therefore we consume much more than is good for us.

To get copper levels down, take zinc supplements or better still colloidal zinc. Zinc helps the body get rid of surplus copper.

Quite illogically, too much copper in the blood restrains it from reaching hair roots. Hair roots need copper to produce hair pigments. To boost pigment production in hair roots, apply colloidal copper after washing your hair. It’s not a fast process, but a slow picking up of colour again, as production increases slowly. Try it, it costs you about 50 cent a wash, and it is guaranteed harmless.