Night At The Bar

To celebrate our victory [over pontiac 86], hawgwilde [excluding Trumpet and Trombone, whom are in jail] went to bar. Skelton [me] recorded the situations:

As soon as we entered the doors [singing the hog wild chant], Unileg rushed over to the jukebox and played Around the World. He danced wildly, therefore entertaining many drunken people. The rest of us: sat down at the bar stools and ordered our alcoholic beverages. Although, I just had an ice-tea because I am the designated driver.

Father Goldfish ordered Old Man Herman to chug his “bear”, however this made Herman sick, so he dashed to the restroom. Meanwhile, Lester stood up on his bar stool, trying to get attention from Unileg’s drunken observers. This annoyed me, so I went to the restroom to check upon Old Man Herman.

When I walked in, I saw him lying unconscious with his head in the toilet! Criminal was also in the restroom, stealing toilet paper. He made me promise not to tell anyone. I chortled and exited the restroom.

I discovered Hughkiss telling jokes on the payphone, with an annoyed Mexican woman behind, anxiously waiting her turn. I sauntered over to sit at a dusty table with Chuck and Kernel, whom were fiercely competing in a chugging contest. Bull Dogg crawled over to watch too, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, barking.

I got bored of this, so I continued sauntering, and saw Armhead and UFO exiting the kitchen, with plates full of moldy food. They sat down at a table, and gobbled it down. Rollerpreet and Bleach were also sitting at a table playing an intense game of Chess. Giraffe was watching intently, reacting loudly to each move.

Bevy, Puff and I were sitting at a table, discussing political affairs, when all of a sudden, Father Goldfish started hollering and ran out of the bar, with Repeater following. I scurried after them to monitor their behaviour. Repeater was assaulting innocent pedestrians, while Father Goldfish shouted at them! Since all the Hawgwilde members were in their own world, I was the only spectator.

Everyone that walked by the bar was getting roughed up by Repeater, and yelled at by Father Goldfish, until a group of real gangsters came along. They beat up Repeater and threw down Father Goldfish, warning him to get off their turf. Both of them ran away, frightened half to death. Meanwhile, I acted as an innocent bystander on the outdoor bench, writing my golden report.