About a decade ago, I met a couple who said that their last child was the result of a failed vasectomy. They were happy with their 3 children, and then they had four. Don't get me wrong, they were also happy with having the fourth child, but they didn't plan on him. When they discovered that he would be arriving into this world in about 9 months they were very surprised - at first, I'm not so sure it was a happy surprise.
Today, I was talking to a friend who has a friend who ended up getting pregnant after a tubal ligation. She had 2 little girls. They always thought of having a little boy, but after a lot of careful consideration and conversation they decided that 2 kids were enough. She has yet to find out if she is going to have a boy or a girl, but now the possibility is back on the table.
Imagine what that's like. Making one of the biggest, and usually permenant decisions in your life to get sterilized. You've decided something that very rarely can be reversed. If it can be reversed, there isn't a guarantee that the fertility you used to benefit from will be recovered. Then, you find out that fate has played a hand in your life that you thought you had one closed a door on. In one case, you might be elated - - like knowing that you might have that little boy after having only girls, or having that little girl after having only boys. Or maybe you lost a child. Or maybe you're just missing having an infant around, because your older children are now all in school. In another case, you may have been very happy with the family you felt was complete. You might even wonder how you're going to take care of the children you already have - - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Though a pregnancy occuring after either sterilization procedure is rare, it does occur. I never knew that tubal ligation could actually fail, though I have heard of vasectomies failing. So which one is more effective? They're both very effective procedures. With failure rates falling below 1%, they are definitely even better than continuing to take bith control pills. The barrier method surely loses out in the contraceptive contest, with an effective rate in only the ballpark of 80 percent. A vasectomy is considered to be the most effective long term contraceptive available.
Still, you must always plan for the possibility that God and fate have more in store for you than you already bargained for. There's always that slim possibility that another pitter patter of feet may be coming along in your future. It's a slim possibility, but it's a possibility nonetheless. I think these occurences are proof that we are not in charge. There is someone else larger than us out there, controlling our fate. Maybe it's so that we'll return back to a more rigorous prayer life. I know I would definitely be praying for what to do if I thought I was done having babies, and one more arrived that was unexpected.
Is it a cruel joke that God's played on some of us? Or is it a joyful gift that God has bestowed to those that might be looking back and wishing they hadn't closed that chapter in their life? It says, somewhere in the Bible, to always think on the positive things, no matter what. That is what always brings me out of a depression, or frustrations, or confusion. Hopefully, this is what parents embrace when they find out (after sterilization) that they'll be parents once more. I hope so, because the child needs this type of anticipation and welcoming in their lives - - not one of regret and worry.