Parents Parenting On Purpose

By Raenel Breucop, The Conservative Advocate

Parents Parenting On Purpose

Want perfect kids? You first!

The next time you get mad at Junior because he spilled milk all over the kitchen table, ask yourself "Did he really do it on purpose?" That's the $65,000 question that will pay you over and over again. Why? Because regardless of how many times this has happened before, by taking time to consider your actions instead of reacting, that's when you are parenting on purpose.

YOUR REACTION GIVES YOUR CHILD THE POWER!

...because, although this time it may have been an accident, the next time Junior wants attention, he will know how to get it.

Remain calm. Tell him "I remember when I spilled my milk..." Take this opportunity to allow the situation to "just be" and give your child the gift of setting an example in what could be a monumental crisis in his mind. "Let's clean it up together, buddy. I will help you and you can help me."

Remember, Junior is always watching and waiting to see what you will do, that's how he learns what to do, pretty scary stuff, huh? What life lessons can you both learn from this one situation? Here are just a few...

You set an example by not reacting and remaining calm

You have spilled milk before - it was an accident, not the end of the world

You are teaching Junior how to help someone and himself in what could be a time of crisis

You are teaching Junior how to clean up spills for the next time (there will be a next time!)

You have allowed Junior to be a human being just like you, not perfect

You are teaching Junior to remain calm in the face of a potential crisis

Your actions show him that your love continues in spite of his mistake

Consider these valid points. These moments are the building blocks of the foundation of your child's character. This foundation determines who your child will be, so recognize the worth of this simple 'accident'.

This type of parenting yields children who come to you when they are afraid, who confide in you when they have done something wrong, or if they are ashamed, or in trouble, instead of a child who lies, hides and keeps secrets from you.

Mistakes, accidents, they are both life lessons, experiences we all have so we know which way we should go, what we should do. That's the way it is for us all, that's life. So really understand this message and create a safe place for your child to make mistakes, to be human, to be like you. They will grow up to be confident, fearless and trustworthy throughout their lives. They will be the examples to follow. How much is that worth? It could begin with a simple glass of spilled milk. Now you are parenting on purpose!

One additional note: Often times stress related anxieties due to our present financial situation causes us to react instead of act, and our children are usually the target. Take responsibility, become self-reliant, self-sufficient. If you do what everyone else always does you'll get what they have. It's human nature to want more, life is more, always. So have a little faith, do something out of the norm and find support to help you help yourself. Your courage and faith will go a long way in creating a great example for those you care about, especially your children.