Celebrities flock to take part in Mars competitions! Are the 'men' next?

The "Celebutard Society" has yet to announce the winner of the first Pissing Contest on Mars between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. The fact that this is the first year in many millions that the contest has been held somewhere other than Earth seems to have little or no affect on their willingness to announce the results. This leaves countless millions of fans, worldwide, wondering just what did happen on Mars!

As a result, speculation abounds, especially on http://www.xomba.com, a new writer's website rumored to be Google’s new favorite. Given the fact that Xomba was given the scoop on the Mars contest from the beginning, it would appear that must be true.

Google and NASA just recently signed a tentative agreement to collaborate on a number of projects together. Plans are currently being drawn for a multi-million dollar complex which they will share in California’s "Silicon Valley". Who can blame Google in light of the possible revenue associated with interplanetary travel. If public interest in this event is any indication, Google has made a very wise decision indeed.

As yet, little is known about how planetary differences will affect the performances of the contestants or their results. But we do know that because of the obvious physical differences between men and women, there are differences in their training and in the rules of competition as well.

For men, the contest is used to demonstrates elevation or distance from the ground, as well as the pressure behind the flow. They are allowed to choose from one of only two positions. The first is the more common position or stance, a "normal standing position"; the second is called a"relaxed-stance position".

The men are also allowed to push, or exert pressure while emptying their bladder, to increase the pressure behind the flow, whereas women are not. To compensate for these differences, female competitors focus instead on sheer volume and the force upon the initial release, as discussed later.

Rumors have been flown in Holly-weird ever since the Spears/Hilton contest, that a male competition was being planned as well. Some speculate they are conducting semi-finals now, and that the two male finalists will be named very soon.

When questioned recently by Xomba reporters, at the premiere of his latest film, "Jackass 2", Steve-O was pleased to demonstrate the position he intends to use if he's if chosen as a finalist. The "Red Carpet" seemed the appropriate place for him to preview his obvious talents. If this is a hint of things to come on the "Red Planet", we can hardly wait to see the competition!!

Although the "standing positions" are also an option for the ladies, sources believe that both girls went with the "free-form squatting position". This seems to be the most popular position amongst female competitors.
As seen in this previously released photo of Britney, this is apparently her chosen position.

It is well known that male competitors have a more 'laid-back' attitude about the sport than their female counterparts do. In comparison, female contestants are highly competitive and more secretive about the act, displaying an unwillingness to be observed while in the position, preferring instead to make the judges wait until they leave the area before measurements are taken.

Most male competitors practice often, but do little to actually train for competition. Women, on the other hand, are known to train everyday employing several different techniques, designed to strengthen the "Pelvic Floor"This enables them to 'hold and store' their urine for extraordinary lengths of time.

The most popular method, as Paris is allegedly doing here, is said to be "Kegels", or "Kegel Excercises"
Paris practicing her "Kegels".

Another popular method employs the use of "Ben-Wa Balls", a set of weighted balls that serve to strengthen the inner walls of the pelvic region.

One type of "Ben-Wa Balls"

Until further details are released, or a winner is announced, for the "Spears/Hilton" matchup, we are left with just these few images to speculate over. One can only guess what might have gone on up there on the Red Planet.

For more information about "Kegels" or "Ben-Wa Balls" visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise

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