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Paris Hilton is Brilliant

posted April 3, 2007 - 9:56pm
Paris Hilton is Brilliant

Recently Paris Hilton said that she was a smart blonde. She’s smart, the same way that a learning disabled ring tailed lemur who’s been introduced to alcohol for the first time, is smart. She’s so smart that even after she had her driver’s license revoked due to driving with a blood alcohol level over the legal limit, she decided to hop in the Bentley without a license and drive. So the Hiltons have plenty of dough to keep Paris in the public eye, no matter what she does, no matter how many boneheaded things she does...but they don’t have enough money to hire a freaking chauffeur to drive their ‘the iconic blonde of the decade’ (this is how she describes herself) around Beverly Hills? Paris YOU DON’T NEED TO DRIVE YOUSELF - get a cab or a limo, brainiac!

Author: angelinhotpants
-A +A

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Comments

So Bored ... Of What?

mythman - Tue, 2007-19-6 1:02 pm
Whether or not we end up together, I'll still think deeply. Sure, Paris might be more- or less-boring than other girls; but I would rather be 'boring, married and rich' than 'deep, single and in-debt.' (Many will say, "That marriage'll never happen in a million years!" And part of me agrees, but most of me is still alive---something else which 'would never happen in a million years.' So--while I'm not directly placing all my hopes-and-dreams on the mercy of Paris Hilton--some of the brighter ones might find their way there anyway.) Add to Technorati-favorites

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You'd be so bored, you would die

angelinhotpants - Tue, 2007-19-6 2:42 am
If you were with Paris Hilton for an hour and didn't try and poison her Cocoa Puffs, you are not the man I think you are. She would drive you nuts in a minute because you are a very smart guy who thinks deeply. She thinks deeply...about whether it's her arm that is itching or her genetalia.

RE: [My] Xombytes

mythman - Fri, 2007-8-6 7:02 pm
So you're saying Paris Hilton should marry me? ... I agree; as soon as she finishes serving her sentence, she should repay society by flying to Oklahoma City and proposing to marry me! And oh! how very happy ... HAPPIER (HAPPIER!) is how I'll feel! Add to Technorati-favorites

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Making someone smile

angelinhotpants - Fri, 2007-8-6 6:55 pm
Vastly underrated skill. My favorite thing in the world is to laugh so hard that no sound comes out.

RE: Eternal Reward

mythman - Fri, 2007-8-6 6:41 pm
Oy, my eternity is sweeter knowing that I make you smile! I can't for-sure envision Ms. Hilton's eternal reward, but I can explain a bit of what everybody's eternal reward is: no matter how you go out, you spend eternity in the instant when you become aware of the effect you've had upon each individual person in the world. Add to Technorati-favorites

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Your xombytes

angelinhotpants - Wed, 2007-6-6 5:52 pm
I have read a couple of your xombytes...about your parents and your mother leaving to do her schooling while you were still very young. I feel for you...my mom stayed at home till I was a teenager. I stayed with my kids - I consider myself very fortunate indeed to have been able to afford to do that and for having a spouse to whom that was important. Not everyone is so lucky. What sort of an accident was it that you had, if you don't mind me asking? And if you do, tell me to mind my own business. By the way, I like staying in shape...I dig working out so I'm lucky that way too. It's not a chore...it's some of the best fun I have in my day. I have two labs who also love running in the trails. I call them the 'Henchmen' as I believe they are trying to assassinate me in an elaborate attempt to make it look like an accident..you know the old standby 'barricades are down due to storms unrelated to global warming...run past caregiver and 'accidentally' trip her by knocking her ankles together beside cliff over waterfall'...a trick as old as the hills. I think they work for Putin.

"Man" Could Happen to Her

mythman - Wed, 2007-6-6 5:51 pm
Oh, I'm sure several of "daddy's friends' sons" are thinking they could be Paris' 'Man,' but the 'Man' she needs would be "her next daddy"; and I'm not talking about "father of her children"-daddy (though that would've 'cemented' the position in old times), but rather "her new dryland-lifeguard." ... 'dryland-lifeguard:' one of the etymological interpretations of "husband." Add to Technorati-favorites

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Brain Damage? Big Bucks?? Where? How?

mythman - Wed, 2007-6-6 5:41 pm
(Uh-oh, here comes the undead virtuoso talking about how much idiots owe him ... well, 'owe his mother,' as he wasn't "legally independent" at the time of the injury ...) And did you ever notice that--when the celebutante is in high-spirits--you never pay 'how they got there' much mind? Because it's good news, and good news isn't as intellectually compelling as bad news! ('Good News' is actually just the landmass peeking above the water of the badness that clouds all the 'news' before it.) So yeah, I'm brain-damaged: totally disconnected at the stem, and then luckily reconnected afresh (call it 'through my will,' call it 'under God's will,' call it 'Dang`ded Humanity,' whatever). And yeah, I'm here, nearly a genius, pecking away at this keyboard-thingy, hoping that maybe you'll find my Xombyte, and that maybe you'll like the opportunities it offers you; while the government quietly falls into loud stupidity and fails to give me the unending payment accruing through this---my unending life's work. But people don't connect the good I do here with the badness I must conquer EVERYDAY to do it. But what can I do? Legally, nothing. So I can only make due with what I've got ... for instance, I feel LadyInHotPants' pain; how she works hard to look hot, keeps her children well-taken-care-of, and yet still must submit her body to the medicalists' sleep-inducing drugs and careless purviness. (Or Something Like That. Or Not.) Add to Technorati-favorites

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Eternal Reward

angelinhotpants - Wed, 2007-6-6 5:28 pm
How do you envision her eternal reward...let your imagination go nuts Mythman. For example, could she maybe melt like the witch in 'Wizard of Oz'? Or could her hair extensions combust unexpectedly while she's rubbing her head on the prison wall? Some sort of instant stigmata now that she is a bible thumper?

Relative to the Rest of Her Life (Theoretically)

mythman - Wed, 2007-6-6 4:57 pm
Granted, she could be "invited to her eternal-reward" fairly soon; but, if she isn't, she could live to be old enough to transform directly into a brownish-shade of the color blue! Add to Technorati-favorites

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