So I'm an north Indian woman in my mid 30's, I'm well educated, have a good job on Wall St (although I'm not sure that means much these days), I've got an amazing life in NYC, wonderful friends, and the best family in the entire world. So what's my problem? I'm bored with my life.

At 37 I thought I'd be married to my soulmate, have a couple of lovely kids, a nice house in the suburbs, and be a part of that amazing Indian social network our parents were a part of. You know the kind that has ladies lunches on the weekdays, and kitty parties on the weekends. The one where a small dinner party consist of at least 60 people, and an average wedding is of at least 350 guest. Sounds a bit superficial (I know), but that's the environment I grew up in - and it was a happy one. But what's really scary, or odd, or amusing is that at the end of the day what I really want I think (actually I'm sure) is the life my Mom has. While my Mom is a well educated and hard working women, having a career was not the focal point of her life. In fact, the greatest pleasure she has received in her adult life has been being married to my Dad (admittedly an amazing man) and raising me and my brother. So how do me and my Mom (who at 22 was shipped off to the UK within a month of meeting my Dad, getting engaged and married to him) have the same exact desires? How did this happen?

How did I go from being so determined to be an "independent" women, who is open minded and liberal to wanting to forget the career and all the hard work I put into to my higher education to simply just wanting to get married and have kids? When did this happen, how did this happen, and most importantly WHY did this happen? Am I simply tired of the rat race we call dating? Where one is constantly set up (by one of your Mom's friends) on one lousy and mismatched date after another? But wouldn't that turn me off from marriage altogether? Wouldn't it make me adverse to the whole concept of marriage? Or is it because I'm tired of everyone constantly asking me if I have any good news to share? Of course in Indian society marriage and pregnancies = good news. An Ivy league education (or anything else for that matter) = not so important news. Or could it be because I've exceeded the statue of age limitation to get married (if you're 30 and not married you're pretty much doomed) and my Mom keeps berating me about how she worries about me not being married and cant sleep at night? Whatever the reason, whatever the impetus, something has certainly changed and I find myself wanting my Mother's life!

It's not that my Mom has a married life that was a walk in the park - she (like my Dad) adjusted, and compromised to make their marriage a success. But theirs (fortunately) has been a happy marriage. And it's not like my parents didn't struggle - they did particularly because they were in a foreign land. But they were hard working, goal oriented, and had a vision of what they wanted out of their life. Hold on, that kind of sounds like me -- or that used to be me! But I suppose the key difference between me and them is they had each other and were building a life together. Whereas my notions growing up were much more loftier and honestly selfish. I suppose that's why I want my mother's life. I want to have someone on my side, who I can build my dream with.

Growing up in "happy household" I think you expect that married life will somehow successfully just happen. Wrong. It hasn't happened for me (and many of my friends). We all wonder why? We all know that to some extent its our own doing... and we all have (at some point) given up on the notion of finding that special someone. Until now. If the truth be told, I think there are a lot of Indian (and perhaps non Indian) women who really want to get married. And its not just because its expected and society automatically thinks something is wrong with you if you've pretty much got everything going for you - except a husband. I think its the opposite in fact. I think it because we have accomplished a lot in terms of education, careers, fulfilled our goals and what's missing is that special someone to share it with. Its not that sharing happy moments with our folks, siblings or friends doesn't count. But lets be honest wouldn't it feel so much better if our husbands and kids were there to encourage us for attempting to make gulab jamuns for the first time, and more importantly calling us out on how bad they were!

Of course there is the slight issue of finding the right guy... ah the perils of being a single Indian women in her mid 30's...