Ah, my first article. As this is my first article I have decided to write it on my favorite subject, politics…… *snore*…… wha… oh it seems I had fallen asleep with excitement. Well anyways I shall begin now on this, um fascinating, modern, yet age old topic.

As I come from the “Land Down Under” (aka New Zealand), my main knowledge is in New Zealand politics, which seem to consist mainly in the art of throwing insults during cabinet, sleeping during cabinet, picking ones nose also during cabinet and waving at the opposition with your middle finger yet again during cabinet (yes these things do happen regularly during cabinet and have been shown on New Zealand television often, providing great entertainment from the usual boring murders, car accidents etc). Before you ask, yes, New Zealand is a Democracy, though you probably thought I was describing, lets say, a primary school classroom before the school holidays, and yes our politicians are over the physical age of 10, though about their mental age, I’m not so sure.

‘Wait a minute’ I ask myself, ‘Isn’t politics, more namely democracy, supposed to be about making decisions and leading countries?”

After some research I have discovered much to my relief that New Zealand politicians make many decisions. Decisions such as “Who shall I call a lying fascist next?“, and “Who shall I accuse of having a homosexual husband?” (read the headlines). This is a great relief to my mind as I was beginning to fear that politicians aren’t making decisions towards running the country at all nowadays, which would be terrible since they receive one of the highest paid salaries in the country and our country would collapse instantly without all this decision making. Though to my untrained eye I am unable to see how these decisions change the way the country works or help run it in any way, no doubt they are individually responsibly for keeping Communist Nazi Martians from controlling our great country.

After all, everybody knows that everyday, our government battles Communist Nazi Martians who are constantly trying taking over the country. No doubt about it, every insult said and every middle finger waved is against a Communist Nazi Martian who has infiltrated our countries government and is trying to take it over from the inside. Really! A recent study conducted by an unquestionable source (yours truly) has discovered that 95% of politicians are idiots. This obviously means that the over 5% are the Communist Nazi Martians and college graduates.

With all these smart people in government I am surprised the world functions at all, though then again I suppose democracy is the best bet we have until we come up with something else. To anybody reading, I am not trying to make you vote for any person/party in particular, the way I see it they’re all idiots. Maybe we should just take into consideration their history of intelligence rather their ability to take the piss out of the opposition.

I am supposing United States and other countries politics to be marginally different to ours here but I’m sure when it comes down to it all democratic countries have the same type of shenanigans in the government as New Zealand. Oh well I guess that’s democracy for you.

Maybe I’ll move to China…

(Please note, that most of the stuff in this article is a load of *beep* (stupid censors). However nose picking, pulling fingers, sleeping and calling peoples husbands homosexuals has all happened in New Zealand. Makes you think twice about moving here, though I suppose this happens everywhere)